So true is my love

February 6, 2014
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My beloved
My love
You looks so beautiful
I see
Your beautiful smile, long and bright
Your eyes, small, pale blue
It uplifts me
I admire it

I see
Your long hairs, dense, dark black.
Once I praised your hairs
And told, so unique and long
You said yep! they are
I admire you
With love, not the erotic one
But with a feeling that says I love you!

I see
Your teeth so white, so lovely
With makes your smile
More beautiful, more pleasant
I like it, I love it
I admire him

Who created you, made you
So good, so vernal, so peace loving
I love him
I love you too
I see
You are dressed well
Not extremely good, but
Then also you looks so graceful
I admire you
I love you

I see
A big ring in the morning sky
No no not the halo, but sun
Bright yellow, somewhat blanch red
I confess, it is bright, good and beautiful
But not more than you
Indeed far more less
I admire you

I am as if lost
Admiring your beauty
Admiring you, your smile
Feeling as if I am with you

But as my grip lost
I am left just with a
A big one
Revealing my true love
For you and for him
Who created you

I looked down and picked your photo
And again looked at it
Oh! the sun is gone
Came a voice from somewhere
I called Yes! It is
You, my love and
Just now comes your call
So true is my love. So true I am!

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This article has 21 comments. Post your own now!

Shade3043 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 11:16 pm
For a first attempt, certainly not bad. Just nothing I'd write home about. The words you use are just too bland, you repeat the same words too much, I feel like this poem could use some punctuation, as well. Overall, it's not bad. It certainly has it's faults, but it's a good first attempt. 3/5.
Dream2000 said...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 8:21 pm
Promethean replied...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 11:12 pm
thank you dream. 
Trin_Freckles said...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 7:28 pm
Im in tears on how beautiful this peice of work is...Was this based off of someone you actually loved? Cause this is amazing!!
Promethean replied...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 7:39 pm
yes it surely is, lol. i am finally caught. 
MissEmilyDickinson This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 6, 2014 at 1:00 pm
This is beautiful. I love it. You really di have a talent. Thank you so much, for sharign this sweet and beautiful and talentedly written poem. You do have talent and greatness in you; never stop believing that. 
Promethean replied...
Oct. 14, 2014 at 7:26 pm
thankyou miss emily, its your kindness. 
Nella.Girl97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 13, 2014 at 10:43 am
Very beautiful! 
Promethean replied...
May 13, 2014 at 10:58 am
thank you !!!!! :D 
Shadow_Wolf said...
Mar. 3, 2014 at 1:40 pm
Beautiful, honestly the words herein are similar to my thoughts of a dear friend.
Promethean replied...
Mar. 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm
I wrote this after viewing my friends photo. 
Shadow_Wolf replied...
Mar. 10, 2014 at 10:39 pm
lol, that is too funny
Promethean replied...
Mar. 12, 2014 at 1:14 pm
haha, it is
cristelThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 17, 2014 at 11:26 am
awwwwwwwwww sweet poem!!!!!!!1 my hert almost melted
Promethean replied...
Feb. 19, 2014 at 7:37 am
Deda!!!!!!!  Thanks... I am happy!!!!
AzureBlue said...
Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:05 am
Yo, this is great for a First poem, I like the tone. Though, I suggest that you read your poem aloud with an open mind, it helps you find mistakes and you can tweak what just doesn't sound right... I believe this could be written with fewer words yet carry the same meaning.. Not to be harsh ;) Keep on writing, my friend! C:
Promethean replied...
Feb. 16, 2014 at 12:45 pm
Thankyou Azure Blue. And yep thanks for suggestioons, 
GreekGoddess said...
Feb. 16, 2014 at 9:32 am
This is a very good first attempt. A suggestion, try to use stronger adjectives. :)
Promethean replied...
Feb. 16, 2014 at 9:40 am
Okay, I make my trick better next time. Thanks.
TanviKusum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 16, 2014 at 1:43 am
A very good first attempt :)
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