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Keep on Wanting

It's intoxicating, really
The sensation of Him
I want Him
And all He comes with
A thick wallet

A glass apartment

And the foolish pride of one ridden with desire
Because I have wanted Him since youth
The prospect of heavenly city lights
my name in print

Contentment
But every time He clasps my hand
kisses my lips
I yearn for him more than the last
Because after the apartment is the mansion

After the print, the lights

After the pride, only more desire
Because I'm drunk on visions of Him
And high from my spoils
And if the heart always wants what it can't have
I think I'll keep on wanting




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Wondering_About_InfinityThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 16 at 4:42 pm:
Okay, I always feel bad criticizing, so I'm going to start with the good: You CAN WRITE. Seriously, I can always tell when somebody can write. Not from how much I liked an article/poem but from the writing style. Your poem flowed beautifully, the rhythm was perfect, it was all so good. My criticism is that it didn't touch me. I think when people write about subjects they really know about, it affects the person who reads them. I don't know you, so perhaps you HAVE been in a relatio... (more »)
 
DaniJo519 replied...
Feb. 16 at 6:50 pm :
No, I appreciate your criticism. It is entirely welcome and I thank you so much for taking the time to check out my work. To begin, I do feel the true meaning of the poem was misunderstood. It was written to have a double meaning. On the surface it is a poem about a lustful relationship but what I was truely getting after was an individual lusting after success. Success being personified as "Him." Now that is a topic which speaks to me and I knew writing this was going to be a gamble when it ca... (more »)
 
Wondering_About_InfinityThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 4:28 pm :
K, phew :)
 
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