Force it
Gotta make this work even if it hurts
My last love left a stain of regret so this time i wont suspect.
I wont judge
I wont question
I wont complain
When he asks me to ill say his name.
I just wanna know that i can be enough to someone.
I wanna know that just as sure as the grass is green i am all you need to be happy,
this time i wont be so sappy
See i do this thing where i get attached too quick he leaves and i feel crappy.
But this time will be different.
I will force it.
I will force it like a cd in a cassette player
In hopes of never being the victim of another heart slayer.
I want this to work
It has to work
I have no rhythm or butt but if its what he wants i'll learn to twerk .
All because it has to work
Sometimes i allow you to be a jerk
Sometimes i sit back and allow your words to pierce my soul till it hurts.
Because it has to work
I cry myself to sleep in your shirt.
I want this to work
It needs to work
This wont work
I'll never forget the day you spoke those words.
It hurt
It burned me to the core because i compromised myself like a weak minded little girl.
I gave you me, because thats all i had in this world.
I allowed your abuse when i should be treasured like a pearl.
I should have known better..
I knew better.
Love should be simple.
Not forced or coerced
Simple as the curve of my smile when you gently kiss my nose
Love should just happen without need to rehearse.
Like the silly chuckle i do when i ask you to hold my purse.
Love should be for better of for worse.
Its my fault we didn't work
Im the one pushed and forced.
Knowing that even if i were to place the broken cd of your love into the cassette player of my heart it would not work
I was the slayer if my own heart
I lied to myself
Put you on this shelf on which you meant more to me than my own interpersonal honesty
I was foolish
I settled for mediocracy
Call me crazy... Or even lazy
My mind was so set on being someone's baby
But maybe
Just maybe
I should have been focusing on being a lady
A lady content with meaning the world to herself
Herself if no one else.