My Darkness | Teen Ink

My Darkness

January 11, 2014
By ElenaP SILVER, Phx, Arizona
ElenaP SILVER, Phx, Arizona
8 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Darkness, everywhere I look, darkness follows me.
In a room full of loneliness, I am accompanied by depression.
Smiling in order to deceive everyone.
I feel the weight of the world crushing me.
Thoughts pop into my head; imagening what it would be like if I left everything behind.
Those who depend on me, the ones who lay down their problems on my shoulders,
Weakening my soul, sucking my strength, tearing me apart,
Will be left to deal with the reality of the world on their own.
Sleep comes slowly; the nightmares come fast.
Shadows appear before me, tying me down; swearing to ruin my life.
Darkness fills me, destroying every happy memory I have,
Shoving them deep down, replacing them with the emptiness of a sad life.
The monsters in every corner, pushing me down in order to feel powerful,
Lurring me in with false promises.
Promising to help, make me stronger, but it only causes me more pain,
Crushing what is left of me.
Reaching inside to grab the last of my hope and sqeezing it until it turns to dust.
My heart beats softer, slower with each tick of the old clock.
The light of the candel is closer to the end of the stick,
The fire buring out the wax until it is nothing but useless hard liquid.
Life, so bittersweet, showing me right from wrong,
But how can that be, when everything that once was right is now wrong,
And everything that was wrong is right.
It's getting harder to breath, life is drowning me, filling my lungs with death,
Threatening to turn off what is left of the light inside me.
I feel nothing anymore,
It scares me.
The darkness is blinding.
It's taking control of my life,
And I cannot stop it.
I want to fight it, push myself through, but
The darkness is winning, and I am losing.
I pound on the brick walls, I know they can hear,
But it is all in my head.
I am trapped.
I push, claw, kick the walls, praying for them to break.
I see it in the distance, the tiny spot of light,
He holds it toward me .
All hope is not lost,
He holds the rest of what is left of my candel,
Showing me the way out.
He is what is keeping me in here, consuming my existance
But he is also the one saving me, shattering the prision walls.
He is my darkness, my monster, my shadow;
The one I love, but also the one I have come to fear.


The author's comments:
It's very personal. It's about the person I love, but the one I am afraid to let go of. When everyone around me made me feel bad about myself, he was always there to cheer me up, but in a way he made me feel worse about myself. He made things even more complicated and stressful than they already were, but at the same time he made my life beautiful.

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