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Dear Mom

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Dear Mom,
You’ve said and done a lot of things that I am not proud of…
Hell, who you are I am not proud of.
Everything you stand for I am not proud of.
I am not proud to call you my mother, much less my mom.
I am not proud to introduce you to my friends.
I am not proud to be caught in public with you.
I am not proud to look anything like you.
I am not proud to stand next to you.
I am not proud to ride in the car with you.
I am not proud to live with you.
I am not proud to even know you.
I am not proud to listen to you.
I am not proud to speak to you.
I am not proud to fight with you.
I am not proud to put up with you.
I am not proud of the frequent courtroom trials.
I am not proud of the sirens outside.
I am not proud of the cop car rides.
I am not proud of the downtown lockups.
I am not proud to have a probation officer.
I am not proud of the record I’ve acquired.
I am not proud, well I sort of am, of the number of court ordered community service hours I have completed.
I am not proud to say I have a mug shot.
I am not proud to answer “yes” when asked if I have ever been arrested.
I am not proud of the judgmental glances that that answer gets me.
I am not proud to know so many cops on a first name basis.
I am not proud to be a labeled a problem.
I am not proud to be harboring all these secrets.
I am not proud of who I was.
I am not proud of where we were.
I am not proud of having to testify in court.
I am not proud of being kicked out of a courtroom full of people.
I am not proud of “going off” on a judge.
I am not proud of what you put me through.
I am not proud of what people think of me because of it.
I am not proud of the attorney fees that I can’t pay.
I am not proud of our Justice System.
I am not proud of my life. I am not proud of all of my choices.
I am not proud of my grades.
I am not proud of myself…
But honestly Mom…..
I never was and never will be proud of you!

Signed,
-
No longer yours to control




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