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Connect The Dots

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Point One
My parent's gifts of bitter resentment
opened behind locked doors in the form of words
Point Two
oil bubbling up from beneath
spilling into sight on the surface of my skin
Point Three
beaten down with clubs of laughter
stabs of isolation
and fists of neglect
Point Four
my innocence stolen in the night
lost under the pressure of heavy flesh
Point Five
cerebral black smoke crawling down my throat
into my heart poisoning the remainder of my life
These are the dots that line my wrist
I connect them with a knife



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JRayeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sep. 24 at 7:00 pm:
Holy...I don't even have words...amazing. Truly.
 
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lovely-depressedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sep. 24 at 12:08 pm:
Wow...what can I say. This is one of those poems that when I finish reading it I have to sit back and think for a minute, because it left me with such a deep emotional impact. I just kinda had to process it for a second...Anyway, the word I think of when I read this is: anger. There's a lot of anger behind this poem, and I think you did an excellent job of channeling that. I love the metaphor of connect the dots - connecting all of the tragedies and depression of life. I relate to it on a ve... (more »)
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Mar. 29 at 11:55 am:
And you say you need help with your writing.
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Mar. 29 at 11:54 am:
I agree with lifeaccordingtoawallflower, though it is an utter tragedy the poem describes, it is most definitely not one itself. I have never written such a poem myself and always find it incredibly difficult to convey such emotions hence this stands out to me even more. And then as you said you wrote it from someone else's perspective, that just makes it all the more amazing. just wow. Also, The structure worked brilliantly! 
 
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lifeaccordingtoawallflowerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 10 at 9:04 am:
This is tragic, yet beautiful. It flows very smoothly, and is contradictory to the message being sent, which is an amazing thing to accomplish. I find nothing wrong with this poem, you are a brilliant writer!
 
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RoyalCorona said...
Jan. 9 at 6:17 pm:
Wow! This was really powerful and I hope that it was not based on real life experiences because that would make it even more terrifying than it already is in my head. If it is based on a real life experience, I am sorry that you have had that happen to you and want to tell you that you matter. You beingg light into the world with your words and don't you ever forget that.
 
RoyalCorona replied...
Jan. 9 at 6:18 pm :
Sorry, typo there. I meant bring not what I had put! Sorry! :)
 
EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 10 at 9:59 am :
It isn't based on myself, but a person I talked out of suicide a few weeks ago. She had gone through hell, I had never written a dark poem, and I felt inspired. Thank you. 
 
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