Perfect | Teen Ink

Perfect

December 13, 2013
By BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein


she sits and smiles
and smiles and sits and
nods her head and
tries to ignore the blood
leaking from her
fingertips.
drops of red rain.



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This article has 2 comments.


lexiibeale said...
on Jan. 12 2014 at 10:57 pm
lexiibeale, Germantown, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Colour my life with the chaos of trouble"

I LOVE the flow of this poem. Very nicely done!

on Jan. 7 2014 at 1:28 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

My biggest critic would be to get rid of the unnecessary words. If you are going for a short and sweet poem then cut out any word that isn't necessary. Once you do that I would rearrange the lines.  For example: She sits
smiles 
smiles 
sits 
nods her head 
ignores 
blood
from
her fingertips 
drops of red
rain Just a visual of what I was thinking. 
I really like the simplicity of this poem and it took me a few times, but I think I get what you were trying to say. 


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