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I Am Who I Am, Part III

I am tired and restless and afraid.
I wonder if the people I know are really who they seem.
I hear my future and my past scolding me every moment I am awake.
I want to know what I actually like instead of what I've been conditioned to like.
I am tired and restless and afraid.
I pretend that I'm too busy but really I'm just too scared.
I feel like I am a static character in my own life story.
I touch another textbook, another flash card
I worry about the fact that I'm 17 and completely without direction
I cry because everything looks so big to me in the distance
I am tired and restless and afraid
I understand that what I want is not always what I will achieve
I dream about things I'm too nervous to acquire
I try so goddamn hard to do everything right
I hope that all my efforts have not been for nothing
I am tired and restless and afraid
I desire to have the things I fantasize about constantly
I am tired and restless and afraid
And I really need to go to bed.



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