They never said it would feel like this
They never said loneliness will grab hold of your heart
Drag you into the sea and refuse to let you up to take a breath
A horrible pain that will not end
But you cannot die

They never said that being alone hurts this much
That it makes getting out of bed all the harder
Mornings down with anticipation of another day of
Sitting alone or on the edge
Trying desperately to hide from everyone
From yourself that horrible truth

They never said you would question yourself
What is wrong with me?
Where did I go wrong?
Is it me or them or a combination of both?

Sitting at a table, head deep in a well worn book
The characters you have loved for years
The only friends you really have
The only ones that beg to spend time with you
The characters have seen me at my best and my worst
And everything in between
They are there and they understand
But they are all you have

But people always say
It will get better
A mantra said over and over
As if saying it enough will make it true
As if saying it enough will make the present hurt less

They never said that the strength to get up
To face another day
To keep trying and improving
Comes from inside