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Cotton Candy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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WritingLoverForever said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 8:31 pm:
This is amazing! Seriously, I'm blown away. It's beautifully written and has such a unique description. I especially loved the suicide part. Great job on this. And could you check out some of my work please?
 
Emma.C.B replied...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 12:33 pm :
i deff.agree keep it up! i love it.
 
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olican16 said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 1:40 pm:
this is good !! hope to read more of your stuff!!
 
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booboo360 said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 12:41 pm:
i lurv the way u worded everything but is the cotton candy stand for like drugs cause it seems as if i does in today's world and u can never be sure so... back to the point i rally loved ur piece. =) hope to see more
 
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sabortooth1 said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 10:25 am:
Please read the book review of The Kite Runner.  Just search "The Kite Runner" and it is about the third green highlighted one.  Very Inspiring! Rate/Comment it
 
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Lanier42This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 8:23 am:
hahaha. this is cute. i love cotten candy :)
 
Arun P. replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:09 pm :

agreed

 

 
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trblue said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 5:46 am:

were their is a stonge use of

wording.

but i give you a standing-O.

for talking about food. some take

the going with a funny storie and 

some compare it to other things,

like you just did verry good. 

 
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beautiful_tragedy said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 8:58 pm:
i love the strong word choice, the imagery is amazing! i can picture it perfectly. simply beautiful.
 
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outtatheblueeddie said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 11:18 pm:
I love the suicide part, Ussally when pepole us suicide they use it in a negitive way but you gave the reader a since of relaxation and i really like that.
 
ilovereplying replied...
Dec. 14, 2010 at 1:11 pm :
nice comment man
 
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Writingstar said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 1:29 pm:
you were very descriptive good job
 
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brax34 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 11:21 am:
very good, except the flow is a bit unnatural for me
 
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Magic-Fishbone-13 said...
May 25, 2010 at 2:27 pm:

May i say very nicly done

I love the way you hid the maening of the, um... 'cotton candy'

really good :D

 
marissa87 replied...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 8:12 pm :

wowoowowowowowowoow why  can i not right like these peopl you are sooo maazing..... the way u wrote tht was unbelieveable srry for my typing fails btw

 

 
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savagivity777 said...
May 25, 2010 at 11:17 am:
I think my heart beat just stopped. Who'll.
 
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Crying_Tears said...
May 25, 2010 at 9:31 am:
What is the cotton candy supposed to symbolize? Or is it just that, cotton candy?
 
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CassieSherman14 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 3, 2010 at 10:52 pm:
Good job I could almost see and taste the cotton candy.
 
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EmDubs This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 3, 2010 at 10:40 pm:
love the descriptiveness. in a way, not really about cotton candy i feel.
 
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sparkofheart said...
May 3, 2010 at 9:53 pm:
very cool. very descriptive. veryy....unique. but i loved it! good work keep it up :)
 
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DanceAwayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 3, 2010 at 6:43 pm:
Love it. a bit wordy, but kinda in a good way. The ending is clever and fantastic. 
 
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