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Almost, Not Quite

Almost, Not Quite
Almost borders upon obliviation and casualty
but exuberance whisks
it away with a haughty smirk.
Almost ready to sing you a symphony and glide
upon the triumph in the sea of voices
but not willing to go that far in the constantly
changing shadows of glassy gray.
Almost on the fringes of reaching your mind
And skimming the thoughts that scatter like
damselflies in the summer, humid breeze.
Almost ready to take the fall, dive, drown
but breathlessness pounds on the
gold hinges in the simplest form.
Almost eager, or hungry, to light
the tips of my fingers fluorescent
but realizing the fairy wing was beside
my stone, bronze arm all along.
Almost inebriated with rivulets of
damp hope sunken in my eyes
but her petite dress beckons.
Almost slipping away from her
money sullen voice that drips like honey
off an old jam jar in the midst of dawn
but realizing that my mind would
never again roam like that of God’s.
Almost, almost, almost
but not quite.

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ILuvBritishBoys said...
Jan. 8 at 11:13 am:
Ive read the great gasby and found this poem amazing. Your word choice and vocabulary is excellent and I didn't see any grammatical errors. Though I would suggest more line breaks, other than that its flawless! (: read some of mine?
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EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 7 at 1:45 pm:
I loved the word choice, expecially since The Great Gatsby uses such an eloquent vocabulary. I feel like this poem didn't have a set purpose or direction. It jumped around from one subject to another without any reason as far as I can tell. I think you should have focused a little more on what you were trying to portray. I recognized Gatsby throughout the poem, but not as much as I would have liked. I do really like the overall poem, a lot. It is just difficult for me to figure out way you a... (more »)
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carolineklepper said...
Jan. 6 at 8:49 am:
I love this piece. My only suggestion would be to consider more line breaks.
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Shahrier said...
Jan. 5 at 8:04 pm:
truthfully, i am a bit confused. i see "gatsby" in here very little, and its a bit sketchy. i might be reading it wrong, but i know i am confused. i cant find an actual theme other than "almost isnt good enough" but i only see that in the begining and end. and also, i have a hard time visualizing what is going on or focusing on a sing emotion. my advise would be to try to work on the setting. discribe what you see as you write this and convey what you feel. and if you are doi... (more »)
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