To Ride the Tsunami

December 21, 2013

Three men, a handsome face to each sat peacefully upon a beach they lived their lives here, so you see they spent their days besides the sea No matter what the weather was they stayed together there because they knew that rain or storm or hail would not cause that their peace should fail However out beyond the shore a massive wave with great uproar came hurtling towards the men one day and nearly scared them all away The first one said "We'd better run" and off he went, chasing the sun The second said "We are too late" so he gave up to sit and wait The third, however, saw the wave and would not give in to his grave He grabbed a board and with it ran into the ocean, past the sand And when that wave came hurtling down I'm sad to say the first two drowned but the third man's own life was saved when he stood up and surfed that wave!






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BeilaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 8, 2015 at 3:08 am
I love the message here! The rhyme works really well for this poem, except in the one instance where you sacrifice tense for rhyme by writing "so he gave up and sat and wait." Also, I feel like this poem could use one more stanza at the end, maybe a poetic version of your Author's Note? Still, the message comes through loud and clear, and I was impressed by your ability to hook me and have me holding my breath as that last stanza began; I had a tiny moment of desperation there, wondering what in... (more »)
 
StarGazer9 replied...
Mar. 8, 2015 at 9:10 pm
Hey! Once again, thanks a ton! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm always open for suggestions. By the way this is a true story! ...just kidding :p But hey anyone could try to be that third guy! Heheh...heh... I hope people take that metaphorically
 
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