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lingering

inside me, a limp heart beats softly like the roar of an ocean ten miles away
I held on to your image to convince myself you exist
in parts, you disintegrated and now you are only an aftertaste, lingering

I put my own hand on my face, heat radiating like fever
am I really here? I feel unreal
where have you been? lingering lingering

pricking my own finger, I let the blood pool up
does this give me life? are you part of it now?
I let it bleed, just like the hole inside me. forever weeping blood

I'm trying so hard to wipe you off me
you stain so deeply, down to the chromatin swirling inside of my cells
let go of me, can you? please, I can't carry you anymore

even when you expire and leave the earth like vapor
you will be alive inside me, every beat of me heart nourishing you
lingering, like an aftertaste.. like nicotine stains on my fingers

I'm closing you up in a tomb, love, I can't hold you anymore
now dust, you don't take up too much room, I promise I'll visit sometimes
love, I'm so sorry I love you I love you. goodbye goodnight

I shut the casket forever



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