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Hate the sin

Only a year" she says.
365 more days till I can be myself.
No more hiding behind this fake smile.
I finally get to be me.

She tells me then she will tolerate me.
My hair, my style, my sexuality.
Tolerate my life.
She sais, "Only cause I have to"

She invades my privacy,
reads my texts, messages and notes
then accuses me of everything,
but never lets me speak.

I can't control my lips as they explode,
"Do you think I chose to be like this?"
My body breaks down, I cannot control it.
"Why would I want you to hate me?"

She looks at me with hard tears in her eyes,
Attempting to take in my pain, my emotion, my words...
I think she's finally realized the truth..
I think she's finally starting to see.

She's looking into my eyes.
I am blinded by my tears.
She can see my soul dying...
Fading away with every word.

"It's okay, It's okay, look at me, It's okay" she says.
My tears cry out "No it's not!"
"I'm telling you it's okay!" she cries.
I am fed up with her games.

I scratch myself for pain,
repeatedly, leaving red marks on my arm.
Am I numb or not awake?
Cause I can't feel a thing.

Her arms surround my body,
Still no feeling, still a nightmare.
She whispers " I love you"
love the sinner not the sin.

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