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I want to go out in my beat up combat boots wearing my red lipstick and go around town on my skateboard.
I want to date, to just have a boy around to hold hands with…nothing serious.
I want to pierce my ears and wear an ear cuff.
I want to wear eyeliner.
I want to show off my body and wear tight clothing.
I want to go to a beach without wearing sunscreen.
I want to listen to my music too loud.
I want to not do my homework.
I want to swear freely.
I want to die my hair rainbow colors.
I want to pierce my nose,
I want to tattoo my body.
I want to lift my middle finger up and not care.
I want to sing out all of my dreams.
I’m not allowed outside,
I don’t have enough trust to just walk out and be expected to come back.
I’m allowed to date…
but only smart boys and it always ends up being serious.
I can pierce my ears, but they have to be little things.
They grew back.
I can wear eyeliner,
but it can’t be too thick.
So, actually, I can’t wear eyeliner.
I need to have more respect for myself,
and wearing a tank top to school for your shirt isn’t classy.
I always have to wear sunscreen.
I’m not allowed to listen to m music when my parents are home.
I always have to do my homework no matter what.
Swearing is for bad girls,
and they don’t want me to be a bad girl.
My hair is too beautiful to die.
Piercings are disgusting and against human nature.
Tattoos are mistakes that you can’t erase.
If you lift a finger it’s a pointer finger to tsk the person doing a wrong.
Being loud in public is disgraceful and an embarrassment to yourself.
I am a free woman, in a country renowned for its freedom, crippled by my age. An adolescent who knows themselves yet cannot be themselves. I only can wait the next few years until I have full possession over my body and what I want to do with it. The best f***ing years of my entire f***ing life will be when I am in charge of my own destiny.