don’t you have memories
hazy, lazy daydreams
of playground days
of the ABCs
and arch-arch enemies
and vanilla skirmishes
over animal crackers before play-time?

of the pb&j
split in two
between
my best friend Jenny
and me?

of bed-time tales
and teddy bears
warm milk
and night-lights
to spear sharp-toothed shadows in the night?

i do.

and as the years drift by
like glaciers over glass seas
the teddy bears
and the crackers
and the night-lights
go
bye
bye
in a box
in the attic somewhere

but they don’t
really

those skirmishes from the vanilla days
become
fights
wars
divorces
murder on the TV screen

like the guns of the paradise enemy
animosity
fear
distrust
is triggered
Bullet holes in pb&j
with the crusts sliced off

guns
tanks
gold-lipped rocketships
made to fight off
the enemy
the sharp-toothed shadow in the night

but soon
it is unclear where the enemy is
is he there or here?
what if he is right next door?
or lurking in the slide where my children play?

the darkness
surrounds us

and it is so lonely
so fearful in this shadowy space
that
one wonders
what if
to see the enemy
i need only look
in
a mirror?

we make enemies of ourselves
we become the sharp-toothed shadow
we feared with all our hearts

that is what i fear
that as we grow older
we do not grow stronger
nor wiser
nor kinder

we simply grow further
and further
and further
from
what is real
and what is true

i do.