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This is killing me, friend. It is slowly killing me.
You are my protector, never once letting harm touch me. You are the shoulder I rub my wet eyes on as I think about the past. You are the one who constantly reminds me of my beauty and worth. You are my inspiration.
But I can see the hurt in your eyes. I can see right through you.
You love me.
I am nothing special. Yet you love me, friend.
What makes you look at me like this? Please tell me so I can rid it from myself, throw it away and never find it again.
We are killing each other; slowly killing each other.
You are not supposed to feel this way, friend.
I need you as what you are, companion, confidant and encourager; nothing more. You cannot do this to me.
I love you too friend. But not like you love me.
It is slowly killing me in the worst way possible. It is painfully agonizing. I want it to end; right now. Not tomorrow and not the day after that. Now.
I need you in my life but I fear that we will lose what we have if I reject you. I have to make a choice.
“You do not choose who you love,” you once told me. And I feel sorry for you.
I feel sorry for you, friend.
So I will sacrifice myself; sacrifice my happiness, my true feelings and our lives as we know them.
I will not let your feelings kill me. I will do it myself.
I do not make a move to stop you as your eyes melt into mine, your fingers softly tracing the back of my hand. And then…
I kiss you, brother.
I am dead now. But you...you are flying.