October 19, 2013
I'm in a tunnel,
at the end there's a light
I squint my eyes,
for its ethereally bright

I follow the light
through twists and turns
Though it never gets closer
and my legs now burn

I'm losing hope,
it's dwindling slowly
I may never feel the light
on my wrinkled skin fully

But alas!
I am near!
The light is growing stronger,
and the cheer and jeer I can hear!

I pass through the light,
as it ever divide
But there is only another tunnel,
so I fear I must abide

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Tizzy said...
Nov. 24, 2013 at 5:08 am
It's great! Oh my gold, it's amazing! Just love it! It rhymes, it makes sense, and the readers are odd! Bravo! Well done! Wow!
Carly_Elizabeth said...
Oct. 27, 2013 at 6:59 pm
This is really awesome! I like it a lot. When I read it, it reminded me of being in a coma and knowing I was asleep, but couldn't wake up. It's really good and flows perfectly. I don't really think there's any critism I can give on this, cause your diction is perfect and it sounds great. Keep up the writing!
Calliashi said...
Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Ooh ominous! Great piece. I could see everything well and portrayed mood well. Juat one minor grammar error where it should be "divides" to make it flow better.
The_Capricornian replied...
Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:17 pm
The lack of an "s" was a stylistic choice.  I did it because it rhymes better and is strangly satisfying for me. (Is that a sane thing to say?)
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