I'll be honest with you, I was lost at times throughout your poem trying to firgure out what the night might symbolize. I still don't know who or what it's representing. Help me? I like the emotion and the story. But I think you should elaborate the poem just a little more. Another thing: "The night she revealed her feelings. The night she thought they would be together forever." These lines grammatically don't make sense to me. I know that sounds harsh. I'm thinking maybe it was a typo as in "the" should really be "that". "That" to me would make the poem slightly more flowing. Like I said earlier, you have a great start, emotion and story, but expand the idea. Elaborate the idea you want to represent. Otherwise, nicely written. Sorry it took me a while to comment on your work.