I can pretend that everything is fine
I can hide the pain through my eyes
But it’s only a matter of time
The pain will leak out
Leaving my eyes stained red and a trail on my face
Its such a disgrace

Everyone can see my nightmare
It never leaves me alone
It’s always there
Two steps behind me
Or in the lines that rest in my palms
Each line tells a story
A story about how my nightmare began

November 2006 wasn’t filled with turkeys and family meals
It was replaced with overnight hospital stays
That year everything change
I had arthritis pain and a butterfly rash

2009 in may on that day I have finish three and half years of chemotherapy
I’m glad
No more hair loss or throwing up lastnight’s meal
But I was wrong
I got mad
Then sad
Then I was gone

My friends, my teachers, and my mom were always there to pick me up
To brush away a lost tear
To tell me Everything is going to be fine
That I needed to make smile
Shine like a new dime

I tell Myself like secret whisper
I have good days where I feel bright like the morning sun
I have bad days like a raging thunder storm

My nightmare is two words
five syllables
Systemic Lupus