I am not a mistake.
I am not a mistake on your english paper that you erase or scribble out.
I am not a mistake.
I try to convince myself this fact everyday.
No matter how much you break me down.
No matter how much you amke me feel like one.
I am not a mistake like that word you misspelled in the 1st grade.
I am not a mistake.
I am not the wrong words you said to your perfect girlfriend.
I AM NOT A MISTAKE!
So why must you treat me like one?
I am not a mistake like these train tracks on my arms.
Like the train wreck in my heart.
Because I have beaten,I have been ripped apart and torn, shredded by paper thin razors, and stabbed by taunts and rumors,and , yes, I have been destroyed.
I have been more than one kind of hurt.

I am not a mistake.
So shy must you make me feel like one?

Why must you take who I am and mutilate it with your hatred?
Why must you take my pride?

I am not a mistake.
Because I WILL rise above this and prove you wrong!
I won't be a broken memory or a sad dream of someone who once was or might have been.
BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN BEING!
I breathe and I YELL and I laugh and I cry and I try to mend my soul so that I may become weightless.
So that these problems will shift and I may become the person I once was.
But that is a false hope. That is a dream that will never come true, and a truth...a truth that I do not wish to accept.

Because now laughter is a dirty word and smiles are drowned with secret pain and lies.

I wish I could believe I was not a mistake.
And you can keep your apologies because they will NEVER heal my wounds or fade my scars. They will never be the remedy to the poison running through my VEINS!
Because it is YOU who has poisoned me and my mind! It is YOU who has destroyed ME!
And I will not stand for it! I will not stand for being called a mistake! I will not stand to be made weak! I will not stand for these scars across my skin! I will not stand for it any more!

I am not those things! Those ugly, grotesque demons that you spit at me! I am not those sinful words that you cut into my skin like razors late at night when I can barely take the pain and the memories that are engulfing my heart.

I wish I could close my eyes and not see the vast amount of nothing, the blackness and solidarity.

But I will not kneel. I will stand and bare this cross that you have haphazardly dropped on my shoulders.

Because I have to be strong. I have to brave this storm of anger and noise.

I have to survive.

Because I am not a mistake.

I am the aftermath, the result, of a thousand broken children crying for the help that never came. I am the result of a pain that cannot be easily medicated with drugs that have been spoon fed to you by your doctors and therapists and now ,even your mother!

I am the result of what people assumed was a mistake, but I will never be. Because they are just words... and they aren't true.

Because I am not a mistake.

I am a human being.