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Feeling like god hates me

I paint a picture
In my mind
I draw the blinds on time
I am stupider than an alcholic that keeps picking up the bottle
I like a guy that will never like me back
The reason why
I am ugly

I don't compare to
To the beauty
The true red heads
The true blonds
I don't like dope
Yet I love to smoke

So in truth
I wish I was prettier
Prettier like some girls

That's why I cut
Cause my depression
Too many nights without food
Longest five days
Cause I'm trying to lose weight

I just don't tell no one
So the depression over runs me

I'm like a beetle
The worlds a semitruck
I'm already squashed inside and out

I have lost my uncle and grandfather
In the last three months
Does god hate me this much
He takes away the ones I love
There's really nothing left to take
Sometimes though
I wish he would take
Take away
The uglieness

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