My Prayer.

September 17, 2013
You want me to believe there's a God?
You want me to think it's all going to get better?
There's a magic man up in the sky who cares,
And is going to whisk me up to heaven?
How dare you.
How dare you try and console me.
How dare you preach to the world that they will burn
Just for not believing what you do.

How could you imagine sitting up there in bliss
while the rest of us who don't believe what you do
Scream in pain below you, beg for death,
While "God's people" smile and rejoice.
What kind of monster are you?

Tell me there's a God,
Knowing that 12 children die of starvation
every single minute.
every single minute.
every single minute.
Has a minute gone by?
Twelve children have just starved to death.
Meanwhile you sit in Church
and soak in hateful words.

God is Good?
God is Good?
Maybe I'll believe that
when the urges to kill myself stop.
Maybe I'll believe that
when my best friend stops feeling numb
because everyone she has ever cared about
has abandoned her.
Maybe I'll believe it when
My father's cancer goes away.
Or maybe when the people
I care about stop hurting themselves
to escape their lives.

God sent his son to save the world.
About thirty percent of it anyway.
The rest of us will burn.
And you're content with this?

What kind of monster are you?

Maybe I'll believe in God
when at least one of my prayers
is answered.
I don't care if he says yes, or no.
I just want an answer. All I get is silence.
I used to have the faith of a mustard seed.
No mountains have been moved.
Nothing has changed.
"God answers prayers in ways we don't expect."
Is the usual cop-out.

Have you learned nothing?
The Boston Marathon?

Blind faith is poisonous.

Tell the three thousand families
who lost loved ones in September,
that God cares. Maybe they'll
believe you. I don't know.
Where was God on that day?
It depends on which one you worship.

I don't hate God.
Because you can't hate
that which doesn't exist.
But I'll say this.
If I'm wrong,
and God does exist,
then this is what I'll pray:

"Dear God... Leave us alone.
Haven't you have enough?"

Sometimes I just
want to end my life.

But then I see the magic
of the world.
It's small, and seems insignificant
but it's worth living for.
The rain on my face.
The wet grass in the mornings.
The snow in the winter.
The smile on an old woman's face.
Someone helping someone who needs help.
Not because God says so.
But because it's the right thing to do.

I know you don't exist.
But if you do,
Again, here is my prayer:
Leave us alone.
Haven't you had enough?

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Drkballerina said...
Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:12 pm
Wow. All I can say is wow. :)
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