Don't tell me it's all in my head!

September 11, 2013
-Where does it hurt?
2 inches deep in my chest, a little to the left. Yeah, right there.

-When did the pain start?
Like three nights ago, after a phone call.

-How would you describe it?
Like I was on the magic rug, you know, all happy, then someone pulled it from right under my feet.

-I’m not sure I follow you, the pain, how would you describe the pain?
I think that
I think that my heart

it broke.

-No cliches please, and by the way, hearts don’t break, it’s all in your head.
It’s all mental?
I put two parts of myself into it and let her enjoy the third part on weekend nights when she had no one better to hang out with!
I cut out the best feelings in my words and offered them to her as pay for her beauty.
I walked along the entire west coast looking for the promises stuffed in bottles that she wrote with vodka and pity.
I faked a smile while she twisted my complaints with her crossed fingers behind her back as she sorry “sorry.”
I could feel the regret of being with me in her Iloveyou’s
And see that hurts because I kept,
No, I keep, lying to myself,
I hope she loves me but she doesn’t. And every morning I say
“today is the day”
but it’s not.
Yeah it sucks,
I nailed my hands into a distant tomorrow I hoped would be better!
I KNOW this isn’t all in my head!

-Sir, I understand you’re in pain, but would you please take a seat?
No, you don’t understand.

-I do, trust me, I understand. We can fix this.
I got a gap inside the size of depression, that’s 3.2 miles (to be exact) that I can’t walk straight to her house to knock on her door and offer her the moon for her return.
Because I don’t have the moon,
in fact,
I don’t even have the right name for at this point she’d prefer anyone but me.

-I can assure you we have ways of turning everything back to normal.
If I wanted things to to go back to normal, I’d be sad.
But you don’t understand, it’s every hope of every little memory that
won’t ever happen that breaks me,
it feels like acupuncture practiced by a demolition worker.

-Well, if all else fails, we have a way out. It’s a bit controversial but if you take enough of these, it’ll be your last heartbreak.
Thank you



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