2:30 am, waiting for the third cup of coffee to wear off.
no amount of caffeine could keep me awkake
like the thought of you does.

i wonder if you’re laying in bed like me,
wrapped up in sheets of miserable thought.
i wonder if life is more black and white than it seems,
and if we only tell ourselves that things
are indistinguishable shades of grey.

sometimes, i become fearful of my own words;
how they’ve hurt you,
how i become silent, tongue-tied,
unable to tell you what i had meant,
unable to say to you
what weighs down my jagged thoughts.

hoping you still stay,
wishing i could go back, repeat the past,
and make all of my wrongs right.

maybe you’ll forget me and
i’ll forget myself while i wait
but all the while,
i’ll be remembering you.

remembering
how we used to feel raw with love,
how you had given me everything you had,
and how i had given you
what was left of me.

i hope it was enough