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Dancing Air

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I find myself alone
Just the walls, me, the floor
Cool air floating in the atmosphere
Press my cheek on the cold floor
Cold seeping into me
Awakening
Dance across the room
Imagining wind blowing my hair wild
As wild as I want to be
Sliding across smooth floors
Like ice
As my bare feet kick up the settling air
It swirls around me in patterns around my feet
Little particles that brush around me
As everything disappears into breezy
Air



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TheTimeBeforeSunsetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 6:26 pm:
It's pretty good, except that you repeated the word "around" more than twice :/,  I think it may have been better if you said " Litte particles that brush against me.."  or something, but other than that I think it's pretty good.   :)
 
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BlottedInkThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 6:22 pm:
i actually FELT that poem. I really like this. I can relate...this how i feel when dancing :) Nice job
 
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