It gets better, I swear

August 19, 2013
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Your brother tells me he sees
vertical lines ?up and down your

arms. He says you lock yourself in
your room and sleep at least 14

hours a day. Tell me? why I see so
much pain in your smile. How long??

has it been since the light left your
eyes? I cant ?tell you how painful it is

to see the man I love?? hurt so much
when he sees the empty vodka ?

bottles on your bedroom floor. You’re
only 14?? and you’ve had so much

crap thrown your way; I get it. I see
a lot of me in you, and not in a good

way. Soon you’ll learn that slurring
your words wont save you from

yourself, ?and neither will that
container of pills. Take it from ??the

girl who’s fighting drug addiction at
16 and can? go 9 days without

eating; I’ve been broken too. ??When
people look at you with pity and say

?“It gets better.” just say thank you
and walk away,?? they don’t

understand that what you’re feeling
right ?now wont be fixed with a few

choice words and ??forced smiles.
You can feel what you feel, just

don’t ?let it define you. You’re gonna
have to push yourself?? out of bed,

but that’s okay because you’ll gain
a little ?muscle along the way; you’re

gonna have to smile ??even though it
hurts just to open your eyes; at least?

you’re trying. You’re gonna have to
take a shower -at least every other

day- because hygiene is still?
important, you can even sit on the

floor if you need to; I know I did. ??
Just remember to get up in the

morning and go to ?sleep at night
and naps are okay if you really need

them.?? Don’t sleep your life away
and keep in mind that breakfast ?will

always be the most important meal
of the day;??depression doesn’t care if

you starve yourself but your body?
sure does, and it’ll feed its self

sooner or later with the fibers ??of your
muscle and the cells of your brain.

Remember that I’m here for you and
your brother, well he loves you very

much. Be patient with your friends,
most of them won’t ever

understand, be thankful for that. And
most importantly know that it really

does get better; and as cliche as it is,
one day you’ll wake up and the day

will seem a little lighter.

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