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My Dream

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I am in a dark whole
dirt covering my face and body
nothing but ripped clothing saving me from exposure

I am clinging onto every branch I see
Some crumble at my touch
...but it doesnt stop me

I push my self foward
looking for a brach who wont crumble away
one I can grasp onto with all my wieght

As I climb higher , I see a light
I can feel it dancing across my skin
I feel warmth and love

When I reach the top of the whole
I feel free
...I am free



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This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
today at 7:13 pm:
Let's begin with the little criticisms first. There were some typos (forward and weight). Other than that, I like the message and how you picture this for the readers. Hope you're better now. This is touching to read. 
 
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tori-gurlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sep. 1 at 5:29 pm:
I love how you went about this! You did a really good job conveying that the "branches" you cling on to for hope, or the "light" were people in your life. I like how you used it metaphorically instead of as a simile, because with a simile you would just be coming out and saying that people were like branches, something of structure, but it didnt need to be conveyed that bluntly, so good choice on metaphor! I also love the act of climbing higher as a way to feel better. You do... (more »)
 
dancer25This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sep. 2 at 12:08 am :
Thank you so much. I really apreciate all the critisizm. This really means alot to me
 
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rand0mteenager said...
Aug. 27 at 2:43 am:
this poem is really great and i can totally get the message out of it. good job(:
 
dancer25This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 27 at 10:32 am :
I Am so happy to hear all these wonderful comments! Thank you so much
 
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mollybug13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 27 at 12:19 am:
Love it, great message and great writing!
 
dancer25This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 27 at 10:31 am :
thank you so much
 
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LaChouetteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 24 at 11:53 pm:
Nice piece. It has a really positive message. Very liberating. Nicely done!
 
dancer25This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 25 at 9:21 pm :
Thank you so much!
 
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Taya K. said...
Aug. 21 at 9:53 pm:
Wonderful writing, really portrays imagery which makes the reader get something from the writing beautifully done :)
 
dancer25This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 22 at 1:09 am :
thank you!!!!!!!
 
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