the doctor turned to me

a smirk played on her lips as she told me

i didn't fit into a line that someone had said is what is right

a little too high she called it

as if i can easily stretch my body into what was

“good” to her.

Eat better she told me, i silently nodded, though i already do

Exercise more she told me, i do i thought

drink less sugar, i only drink water i dared not to say

she ignored the fact that i had lost 3 lbs

she ignored the fact i look healthy ‘

she ignored the fact that i was muscle

she ignored the fact i played sports

that i was not some line on a paper that could be tilted at will

but she got to me under my skin.

and like a fool

i did not dare to eat anything unhealthy

i did not sip anything sugarfull

and i skipped dinners

till a night i felt my stomach hunger

i had not eaten much that night for dinner

,one small sandwich

a small piece of watermelon and few strands of coleslaw,

silently that night i wandered down the stairs

and immersed in what my body craved

nourishment

my body screamed out to me as every piece of food passed my lips

you need this

one meal will not make you fat

be strong

you are beautiful

even though you do not fit into

a small line

you are beautiful.

from every rigged curve on your body,

the tummy you tried ever so hard over the years to destroy

the “thunder thighs” that were the work of years of playing sports

the breast lined with scars that were caused by nights of anxiety

You are beautiful.

can you feel it

you are strong

you are worth while
feel it .