Tears Start Dropping | Teen Ink

Tears Start Dropping

August 5, 2013
By SSSplatters PLATINUM, Plainview, Minnesota
SSSplatters PLATINUM, Plainview, Minnesota
25 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What does not kill you makes you stronger!" or
"Your only limits are the ones you set on yourself" Love doesn't bring happiness, happiness can just happens to be found easier where there is love-- Sam


She was a girl
a beautiful girl,
who thought
she was worthless.

One day
she
couldn't
deal
with
the
pain
and
nightmares
anymore.

So, the cutting started and
blood
was
spilled.
Her parents could have stopped her,but
they
didn't
even
bother
to
help
her.

One day the cutting
didn't
keep
the
pain
far enough
away.

Then she went to the ghetto, so she
could
die
an
innocent
death.

Her plan went up in smoke,
when
a gang
found
her.

What they did to her hurt worse than any cutting,
she screamed,
she begged,
but
not one tear escaped.

They needed the screaming to stop, to not alert the cops.

That's
when
the
gun
went to her head.
Next thing she knew she was dead.

Jesus let her through the gate.

The he said, "Let me
be here
for you;
let me
help you grieve
you can cry on
my shoulder
to let
it all out.

I know
it's hard
to get over
being murdered,
I've been there
done that
before.

Then the tears started dropping right down her cheek.
He was ready
to be there
a day,
or for weeks;
as he sat there
wiping tears
off her cheeks.

He said, "I have been here silently loving you,
I am sorry
you didn't look for my help ,so there was nothing
I could do.

Though now that we are reunited
I am here
for you
and if you look
around there millions
of angels
that love
and
care for you."


The author's comments:
This is a story poem. I hope it gets emotion out of you...I wrote it, but it still makes me cry. Please comment and tell me what you think.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Oct. 7 2013 at 9:06 pm
boundlesswildflower SILVER, Minneapolis, Minnesota
8 articles 1 photo 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." - faults in our stars by John Green

Its great and very emotional. I'm a metaphoric person so I tend to make everything that way. The girl dying could be your identity, etc. Amazing overall. 

on Aug. 23 2013 at 10:52 pm
Shade3043 DIAMOND, Shade3043 Did This, In Case Of Anonymous, Other
87 articles 0 photos 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was a boy, I would always hear scary things in the news and my mother would say to me, "Always look for the helpers. Everywhere you look you will always find people helping." - Fred Rogers

can I take that back? You didn't really feed us imagery, sorry. What I meant was that you tell us too much of what happens, leaving little room for imagery.

on Aug. 23 2013 at 10:50 pm
Shade3043 DIAMOND, Shade3043 Did This, In Case Of Anonymous, Other
87 articles 0 photos 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was a boy, I would always hear scary things in the news and my mother would say to me, "Always look for the helpers. Everywhere you look you will always find people helping." - Fred Rogers

I agree with her. A poem shouldn't feed you imagery. Good job, but consider that. 3/5. :)

on Aug. 23 2013 at 10:36 pm
queenrenae SILVER, Brookfield, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This poem, although emotional, is too obvious. Suble imagery would've been stronger all over, but especially in the beginning. Show, don't tell.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Aug. 16 2013 at 3:07 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

I love it; its very well written and emotional. It tugs at the reader's heart and brings them to tears. The ending is brilliant, giving the reader inspirational motivation. Also, the format in very unique and creative; it almost looks like tears dropping. Great job on this; u have amazing talent!

on Aug. 13 2013 at 4:55 pm
AcidRoses SILVER, Elmont, New York
8 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Many that live deserve death and some that have died deserve life, can you give that to them? Do not be to hasty to deal out death and judgement, even the very wise cannot see all ends."


"Can't get no more free randy!"

Beautiful... very saddening :'(

on Aug. 13 2013 at 4:53 pm
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

^.^ omazing, it was so loving but sad and emotional i just loved it all and i'm just speechless. you've done it again wow


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