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Surrender

Surrender now your bottles
Broken only at their lips
Resort to sobered monotone
To let me know your mouth is shattered, too



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OldYoungOne said...
Aug. 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm:
I agree that this poem in particular did not meet up to the theme you have just discribed.
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 14, 2013 at 4:43 pm :
I can understand why you would think that, and you may well be right. Thanks for the feedback! :)
 
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Midnight5765This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:20 pm:
Does this convers about being sober or something else. Perfect picture but I would have named it "Surrender Your broken bottles"
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 9, 2013 at 5:41 pm :
First off, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and offer your opinion on it. :) I can understand how the poem might come across as vague, and perhaps a different title would help with that. Mainly, I was trying to convey the complicated nature of alcoholics, and how it sometimes seems as if they are more 'themselves' when they are drunk. However, I may not have been successful in doing so. :P
 
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