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Peace's Aberration

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I asked Peace if I could soar,
To feel immortality at my ease,
To glance down and taste the ocean,
To rule wherever I pleased.

Sorrow filled her vibrant eyes,
She pronounced that it could not be.
Her voice cracked with every syllable,
Her guilty conscience paralyzing me.

She caressed my frozen cheeks,
In the brisk bone-chilling cold.
Denying my request to join hands,
She said a story had yet to be told.

While this I did not comprehend,
Her true self emerged as tired and frail.
I argued and pleaded and stomped my foot,
My frivolous cries to no avail.

Her chapped lip trembled slightly,
Tears shed from melancholy eyes.
They traced a pattern upon iced pools,
It was the mother of all lone cries.

Guilt slapped me in the face,
My body slamming into the frigid ground.
Leaves screeched under my haggard jacket,
For her anger I had found.

I felt the roar of the ocean,
Its vibrations squirmed in my chest.
It pleaded for my safety,
But Peace's mood was not at best.

I sprang to my feet and fled,
Attacked by branches and so.
Vehement roars trailed the Earth,
The story's climax began to grow.

So I returned to my desperate village,
Chagrin unwillingly chained to my feet.
Dry stares welcomed me home,
For their reverie was obsolete.

I cowered in front of my people,
The guilt reeking from my soul.
I watched my mother's sullen gaze,
For Peace had screamed her whole.

For years I crept into alleys,
Ashamed by my pitiful history.
For my village had burned to flames,
Because War had affirmed his victory.

As decades and eras soared past,
Peace bashfully found me in the snow.
Her guilt matched my wretched soul,
She was obliterated by my bow.



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

Mimo7197 said...
Aug. 12, 2013 at 10:25 am:
Thanks a lot :} and you're right, it is rarely done. That's why I thought it would work!!
 
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StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 11, 2013 at 3:16 pm:
This was a very interesting poem to read. Your metaphor is well-developed, and I thought the ending was particularly powerful. I like how you were able to take on the perspective of someone who no longer belives in peace, because that is something which is rarely done. Great work!
 
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OldYoungOne said...
Aug. 8, 2013 at 3:59 pm:
i enjoyed the story that wen this poem. I love how the man looking for peace destroys peace because he could not found it. I love it and I don't know how else to love this because I just do
 
Mimo7197 replied...
Aug. 8, 2013 at 8:25 pm :
AWWW thanks!!! :)
 
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Krasota-Butterflies-and-AngelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 5:01 pm:
This was a refreshing poem to read over. I love the personification in here, it was quite beautiful. My only criticism is that I didn't quite think that "frivolous" was a good adjective to describe cries. I think you were trying to get across that the narrator was a child at the point, however; if so, then maybe "childish" would be a better adjective. Overall, I was in love with the piece! :D Great work and keep writing!
 
Mimo7197 replied...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm :
Thanks so much! I actually had put the word childish in my first draft, but I didn't know if it was the right adjective to use. And I'm really glad you liked itt! :}
 
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