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mortified driving

My first time driving floods through me

and I recall transforming into a replica of a video game

in fact, I calmly believed I was clutching a controller in my dainty palms

attempting to steer, attempting to avoid that crash


I parked the car in drive

the wheels felt like the curling of my wrist on the game remote

the wheels were chalk on pavement

so effortlessly and never over looked


and when I parked the vehicle in rear

my heart did not follow

I marked perfect between the boundary lines

though my shadow was thousands of feet off like a golf ball rolling into rivers


I twisted and maneuvered around city poles

i circled my life in a separate collapsing universe

I actually stirred that maybe I'll be going somewhere in life

since I now know how to drive


maybe I won't be in the somber sceneries I imagine myself in

but that thought absentmindedly drained from my ears like fluids

and before I started the ignition

I evoked when I was dumbfounded the way that twenty-year old beside me drove


I was more of bewildered and couldn't retain my astonishment

but confessions like that make me adamant and upset

I was entirely seduced with his driving

for being a poor schoolgirl never around boys with a license


feelings of promiscuity erupted in me

and suddenly I was a sweltering volcano

careless if we were in the front seat or planet oblivion

the aching of him solace, numb, and leaned back on the seat with a hand steering


sculpts me as such a lustful painting

thirsting, battling to emerge out of my picture frame

how your eyes as bullets aimed straight beyond

but your mind was seeping somewhere else pertaining me


at times I am fear that locks my senses deep in coffins

how my senses undyingly jolt my structure racing alive

because my prognostications always match up with what the reality and truth are

and that ability has not gotten me in good places



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