I carved the mountain in the image of your heart,
His seas I sailed on, in a boat the size of her thumb nail,
With white sails,
And cedar wood.
I carved my lungs in the image of your breath,
And as I sailed, the seas grew dark
Like bruises on bones,
And they boiled in the night,
And on the horizon,
I saw the skyscrapers blaze with fire.
I grounded on old sands,
The colors of aged books,
And I counted out all the bad things,
And pushed them onto my boat.
Skulls, and photos of the sun, and empty snail shells.
And back to the ocean I went.
I saw monsters
Dancing on the pillows of foam,
With holes in their teeth
And so I filled them with marbles.
Just some of the bad things I didn’t want to carry on my boat.
I named my boat after you.
Well. Not after you, but what you leave.
I called it Loneliness
I carved the caves in the image of Beelzebub, and I filled their caverns with
Beasts.
Them, I created in the spirit of absoluteness.
Then I sailed on Loneliness to the cold North.
The North breathes and swallows and forgets, and sleeps.
Here, I found the ice.
The ice was dark and cold and thick and what I found in the ice
Was bizarre.
Remains, I found.
Trapped, and sickly.
I found memories hanging on fish hooks from the sky.
To the sea again I took, and Loneliness and I fell
Captive of the waves,
Deep beneath the waters,
I found the felled cities, and
I stood before the bringer of end things.
And when I surfaced, I looked to the horizon, and this time
I saw no skyscrapers
Or fires
Or ancient sands.
Now I only saw the orange sun
Setting on the world,
And now I only saw
And heard
And felt
Alone.
It’s a better place to be, when you aren’t under the impression
That happiness is only brought by
People.
I sailed through stars and cities of ice and places of old until I once again saw
The mountains,
And I once again felt the shudder of the bay,
And I wondered why
Things like to fall apart so quickly.
They fall so fast we can’t even understand what has happened
Until we begin to realize
It’s all over
And things are better off
If time is spent alone.
Still, I still can’t help but feel sometimes
Like maybe it was worth it once,
To someone else.
Like maybe, the heartbreak was worth the risk
Of maybe being loved
By people
Who now
Are burning with the skyscrapers
Or sunk
With the Deep Ones.
Or sailing on seas of black
To match their hearts
On ships of dark to fit their ignorance,
With sails of red to match their souls.
These people remind me why it is better to be
Alone.
To trust nobody
People only do harm
People lie to help themselves
They turn one on another like rabid dogs
And they leave you behind
To miss them
And regret opening
The doors of silver
On silent wings
But I still carved my world in your image
In the hopes that your greedy heart
Might lead you back here one day
To pick at my bones
Which you left behind.