Monochromatic Rainbow

July 22, 2013
By SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."


when I tried to
paint you by number,
I unlocked colors
I never knew existed,
but you took that pallet
when you escaped
from this gruesome place
and left me with nothing
but a monochromatic rainbow
to paint no one
but myself.
but, when you escaped,
you set me free of
my bond to you,
and to think,
this year I will
grow into a body
you will never
have touched,
and I'll paint it all
in a monochromatic rainbow.



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This article has 11 comments.


on Jan. 4 2014 at 12:44 am
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein

I loved the ending, but I just didn't feel the middle for some reason. The concept was very nice, but I felt as if it were missing something, you know? 4/5

on Dec. 27 2013 at 9:58 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you're going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

Good poem. I truly enjoyed reading it. It flows well and I can picture the colors sort of draining from the rainbow when this person left... I can totally relate. Truly intriguing.

AnnieKate GOLD said...
on Aug. 14 2013 at 11:25 am
AnnieKate GOLD, Centerville, Utah
18 articles 0 photos 21 comments
Very descriptive and easy to picture. Very nice. 

on Aug. 7 2013 at 9:19 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

This is such an interesting concept. I like how the poem tells a story, but is still a bit abstract. To me, the poem seems to end on a somewhat hopeful note, but I definitely still feel some tension. I still feel like there is more I want to know, which is an awesome way to end a poem. Great work!

on Aug. 5 2013 at 8:25 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

Amazing! Absolutely amazing! I love how you incorporated art into this poem.

on Aug. 4 2013 at 7:19 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

Oh, my, goodness. Here I go. First off, let me say I love this so much. I felt like it trailed on a bit and some pieces could have been left out, but at the same time, having the middle makes it sound like thoughts on paper. Second, the beginning, as always, was so strong and intriguing I had to keep reading just to see how it ended, and I was not disappointed. The title got me excited, so i already had a feeling it was gonna be great. (It was!) Third, that picture suits this poem so well, you should search the artist and tell them you used it for your poem so they can read it any look at the GREAT use of that picture! Fantastic. All the little elements truly made this poem worth reading. I enjoyed this a lot.

on Jul. 30 2013 at 11:36 pm
RozaAlexander, Amory, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, & accepted by idiots.

I agree, I dont really have much to say its a good piece of work and i love it.

on Jul. 27 2013 at 6:38 pm
CasimirPulaski SILVER, Columbia, Connecticut
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments
To be completely honest, i have no suggestions for this. I really love it. I have recently discovered the power of a sort of runon sentence/blurt style poem and i enjoy what you have done here a lot! Maybe some words are a little repetative like you and but, although i think it works in a way... Nice piece!

on Jul. 26 2013 at 7:25 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

Again, a clever idea and one that is well put together; it is simplistic and it makes the relationship easier to understand. You will know from reading my other comments about capital letters so I wont linger on them. I also agree that the title is very intriuging and stands out from a lot of dull titles.
Nice one :) 

on Jul. 25 2013 at 11:42 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

How should be show and ignore few.

on Jul. 25 2013 at 11:40 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

The title automatically intrigued me. There is a lot of beauty but it could be enhanced. I love this relationship you discussed, maybe you could make that a stronger contrast. How that difference in a more organized way. The line 'this year I will grow into a body you will never have touched' fascinated me. I feel like that could be a potential compass to few direct the poem. Curious, I like this colorful talk :)




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