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Monochromatic Rainbow

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when I tried to
paint you by number,
I unlocked colors
I never knew existed,
but you took that pallet
when you escaped
from this gruesome place
and left me with nothing
but a monochromatic rainbow
to paint no one
but myself.
but, when you escaped,
you set me free of
my bond to you,
and to think,
this year I will
grow into a body
you will never
have touched,
and I'll paint it all
in a monochromatic rainbow.




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BandGeekAndProudThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
today at 12:44 am:
I loved the ending, but I just didn't feel the middle for some reason. The concept was very nice, but I felt as if it were missing something, you know? 4/5
 
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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:58 pm:
Good poem. I truly enjoyed reading it. It flows well and I can picture the colors sort of draining from the rainbow when this person left... I can totally relate. Truly intriguing.
 
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IronMan4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 14, 2013 at 11:25 am:
Very descriptive and easy to picture. Very nice. 
 
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StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 9:19 pm:
This is such an interesting concept. I like how the poem tells a story, but is still a bit abstract. To me, the poem seems to end on a somewhat hopeful note, but I definitely still feel some tension. I still feel like there is more I want to know, which is an awesome way to end a poem. Great work!
 
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MissExplorationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm:
Amazing! Absolutely amazing! I love how you incorporated art into this poem.
 
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kikixkupkakeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:19 pm:
Oh, my, goodness. Here I go. First off, let me say I love this so much. I felt like it trailed on a bit and some pieces could have been left out, but at the same time, having the middle makes it sound like thoughts on paper. Second, the beginning, as always, was so strong and intriguing I had to keep reading just to see how it ended, and I was not disappointed. The title got me excited, so i already had a feeling it was gonna be great. (It was!) Third, that picture suits this poem so well, y... (more »)
 
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RozaAlexanderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:36 pm:
I agree, I dont really have much to say its a good piece of work and i love it.
 
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CasimirPulaskiThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2013 at 6:38 pm:
To be completely honest, i have no suggestions for this. I really love it. I have recently discovered the power of a sort of runon sentence/blurt style poem and i enjoy what you have done here a lot! Maybe some words are a little repetative like you and but, although i think it works in a way... Nice piece!
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:25 pm:
Again, a clever idea and one that is well put together; it is simplistic and it makes the relationship easier to understand. You will know from reading my other comments about capital letters so I wont linger on them. I also agree that the title is very intriuging and stands out from a lot of dull titles.
Nice one :) 
 
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WriteOrWrongThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:40 pm:
The title automatically intrigued me. There is a lot of beauty but it could be enhanced. I love this relationship you discussed, maybe you could make that a stronger contrast. How that difference in a more organized way. The line 'this year I will grow into a body you will never have touched' fascinated me. I feel like that could be a potential compass to few direct the poem. Curious, I like this colorful talk :)
 
WriteOrWrongThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:42 pm :
How should be show and ignore few.
 
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