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Sinners Just the Same This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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someone once told me that
shooting stars are nothing more
than angels throwing
away their cigarettes before
god could catch them.
lambs for slaughter,
we're waiting for just another smoke-filled lobby
inhabited with sinners just the same
as you and me.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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BandGeekAndProudThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 4 at 12:51 am
This was great - I love the idea that even angels are corrupted. Dark, but almost humorous.
 
tori-gurlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 1, 2013 at 6:05 pm
I think this is a great satire about smoking, because you dont expect angels to be doing such "sins" It really makes you think! Very good job! :)
 
TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:56 pm
Irreverant, but funny! I like this. I may not agree, but its a thought, and a plithy one, at that. It gave angles the feel of naughty teens and kinda made me think of "The Trouble With Angles" (really good movie.) I enjoyed this! Nice work!
 
IronMan4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 14, 2013 at 11:23 am
The angels thing is hilarious, and the poem is beautiful. Great job! 
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:41 pm
Haha, thank you!
 
TargonTheDragonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:17 pm
although i dont agree that heaven will be like this, i definetly love the poem. youve taken a point of veiw that not many people do. its beautiful. 5/5 for sure:D
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:42 pm
I don't typically write about religion, as I'm not a very religious person, but I couldn't pass up this idea when it came to me. I appreciate your open mind to other people's ideas! Thank you :D
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 9:11 pm
I must say, I have honestly never read anything like this before—and I love that! Am I correct in thinking that you are comparing heaven to a “smoke filled lobby”? If so, you are very creative! It is too easy to become cliché with poems like this, but you were able to remain unique and relevant. Great work!
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:43 pm
That would be correct! Thank you ^_^
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 5:23 pm
This is SO pretty. To me, I don't know, it meant that heaven might not be as perfect as we expect, or.....whatever the meaning (I'm thinking its a little more than that) I really liked this, and the metaphor was so well done. 5/5 :)
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:44 pm
I love hearing other's interpretation of my work! Thank you! :3
 
SamanthaW said...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:43 pm
This is beautifully written. I love the beginning. And the way that you wrote this without capitilization reminds me of e.e. cummings' poetry. Great job, I can see why this got Editor's Choice :)
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:41 pm
Thank you!
 
Krasota-Butterflies-and-AngelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 11:37 am
I disagree with OldYoungOne; I think that you only need a thought, no matter how incomplete, to spin off a poem from it. And this thought was SO FUNNY. I'd never quite pictured that before :D Awesome job, and congrats again on the Editor's Choice!
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Thank you! ^_^
 
OldYoungOne said...
Aug. 5, 2013 at 10:08 am
I liked the poem I just only wish there was more substance that elaborated on the alomost incompleet thought. The ending falls flat. The beginning draws me in though.
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:47 pm
I've considered adding more to it, but I can't seem to find a way to extend the thought without being reduntant. I've also considering making it a series of short poems along the same lines. Thank you for the feedback!
 
OldYoungOne replied...
Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:22 pm
That soubds like an efficient idea, you are welcome
 
kikixkupkake said...
Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Wow. Such a short poem, but so much said inside it. I loved the beginning, but the ending was what got me. I was like "oh wow! Wait what?" Great job, this poem is a good conversation starter as well as something just to get you thinking. Loved it.
 
SwanSong This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Thank you so much! :D
 
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