To She Who Had A Secret

July 18, 2013
By LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.


She wore the flower crown
as it lay perfect on her head.
She dreamt of growing up
as she sat in the flower bed.
She looked up to the sky
and asked to tell a secret
the stars began to dazzle
and she asked, "Can you keep it?"
They began to crumble
and she'd be lying if she said
she liked the way they twinkled
as they fell upon her head.
The beauty of the sky
reflected her chameleon soul
but betrayed the little girl
and it began to take a toll.
As she cried to the constellations
they made her feel so small;
morphing into a dream catcher
they hinted her biggest fault.
She dreamt of being a big girl
when she was still too small
and now she has to watch the stars
as they begin to fall.
As she squinted at the sky
she felt the star dust turn to rain
opening her blue eyes and soul
she started to let go of the pain.
She wore the flower crown
and slowly to herself she said,
"Lexus, you're finally free of secrets"
as she sat in the flower bed.


The author's comments:
I wrote this about me, but in the end it sort of turned into something I wrote to myself.

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This article has 17 comments.


on Sep. 5 2013 at 11:00 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

This is something different from the rest. In a great way though. Lexus, now I understand what I love most about your poetry. It's the way it transports me someplace else when I read it. I am completely captivated. And I feel like I really need to learn from you. This is so utterly graceful and glorious that I could not begin to describe what I liked more and what I liked less. Just keep writing. I love reading your stuff. 

on Sep. 1 2013 at 6:30 pm
tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
32 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
smile through everything no matter how bad it gets because it could be worse and if it gets worse well then it can only get better. :)

I loved this poem! Your rhyming was very appropriate to this poem and didnt feel forced at all. Since it didnt feel forced, the poem flows very nicely and the message of the poem is more easily grasped. Very good job! :)

on Aug. 19 2013 at 10:06 am
estucker1998 PLATINUM, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
20 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
The voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, because of the thought that everything may be done better and again. --John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.

That was wonderfully, beautifully, hearbreaking. This is why I LOVE your writing. Even though it's sad, it has a gracefullness and a delicacy to it that make it... I don't know. Beautiful. Wonderful. I loved how the stars started out sort of as her confidants, and then they sort of left. And the fact this is about you makes it all the more breathtaking and sadly beautiful. It is a great story with a great story behind it. I always love those kinds of poems. Great work! Keep writing! 

on Aug. 14 2013 at 7:14 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

KInda relatable, deceivingly mysterious, AMAZING work! :)

on Aug. 8 2013 at 5:43 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Wow. Lexus, I've been looking at all the super long comments you have on this, but I can't find that many words. So I'll just say the main words. It was beautiful. I could see her. I kind of pictured a younger version of your avatar picture with a little bit of my imagination thrown in! Keep writing stuff like this Lexus. :)

OldYoungOne said...
on Aug. 8 2013 at 2:54 pm
Well like evryone else I enjoyed the poem. I love the reference to the stars and the symbolism with the flowers. The flow is nice and the mood is given off is dark yet innocent. Very nice. However I found myself getting lost among the deep descriptions to find an underlying meaning.  

on Aug. 5 2013 at 1:53 am
laceandcoffee PLATINUM, Rio Rancho, New Mexico
21 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We make up horrors to help us escape from the real ones."- Stephen King
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry. I want danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."- Aldous Huxley

This is so beautiful and full of emotion. I love the dark, creepy, grunge feel it has. Sometimes I find that rhyming takes away from a poem but in your case it just makes it that much stronger. This is a lovely piece!

on Jul. 31 2013 at 11:42 am
sophistryxo SILVER, St. Louis, Missouri
5 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.”
-Jack Kerouac

This is so lovely! I really like the star references...they're bring a sense of mystery and beauty to your poem. Great work!

sam_101 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 30 2013 at 12:24 pm
sam_101 BRONZE, ......................, Other
2 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Secrets are tough thigs. nice job like always lexus. proud of you. Anyhow, I just wanted to say good bye for the last time. I'm quitting teenink, quitting a lot of things from my life but may be someday I'll read one of your books or see you some day, keep writing, keep inspiring, keep having fun and enjoy life my very helpful buddy. May you reach the heights you wanted to reach. I deleted a lot of things and a lot of stuff now just quitting somethings and saying good bye to a very very few people.  Keep smiling always lexus, thank you for talking and knowing me. adios 

on Jul. 29 2013 at 7:11 pm
SoulPoetry PLATINUM, Sierra Madre, California
29 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will work harder" (animal farm boxer the horse)

I'm speechless! This is your best work since I have a fancy for very personal and deep works. I love the innocence of this poem and also how it had both dark and light tones. I had no idea where this poem was going to take me but you picked the best place: space. All your poems with celestial themes are so spot-on. I gotta say I love this poem so much. As always, your rhyme sceme is flawless. Great job!!!

on Jul. 29 2013 at 5:35 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Hiya! I quite liked this. I feel like it was verging on going off focus for a second and I think that is due to what you said in the description. Also there are several unintentional rhymes I believe. If it is intentional, however, I personally think it should be removed as in my eyes it takes away from the poem. I think the whole flower thing is great because it makes me think of innocence, beauty and purity. I love how you wrote about the star's betraying her. I think you should focus more on that while rereading to try to find a way to centralize the poem in a clearer way. I think the end is great, it's simple but somehow turns the whole story back to the beginning but illustrates evolution at the same time. I like how it is personable but fairytale-like. For the most part it flows pretty well. Other than those minor improvement areas I thought this poem had brillance potential. 

on Jul. 27 2013 at 9:42 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

THIS SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A FRIKIN EDITORS CHOICE!!!! OMG can i just say that this is frikin amazing i mean i have like no words, but i can not contain my emotion and delight at this poem. It's frikin amazing like i said :) your word choice is perfect and every line is like a new story that weaves together with the old ones. It's perfect in every way and its like now in my favorites. I can't even frikin type that's how much i love this. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh genius!!!!!! I love this so much Lexy! Keep rockin always and forever.... Love ya!

on Jul. 25 2013 at 9:19 pm
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

I love the way this flows. Other than one or two places with a longer line, it keeps a nice, consistant rhythm that sounds really nice read out loud. The sybolsm of the sky and stars, though typically overused it poetry, really works for you. It seems like there's a few lines thrown in there simply for the sake of rhyming, but other than that, I like it!

on Jul. 25 2013 at 5:09 pm
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

Hi again! :3 well first, i love the title i was thinknig it would go a different path this path and have a mysterious vibe. But after reading the flower beds in the first stanza i was engrossed into it i liked your ryhmes and your rheme with the flower beds and asking the stars if they could keep a secert. I really liked how you incorperated your username lexus it made your entire poem even more better. And i really liked your chemleon soul that was a really good use of imagery. As a result to all that, i give you a 5/5 stars and can't wait to read more from you. (great job)

on Jul. 24 2013 at 5:54 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey brah! Your comment didn't post :(

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 24 2013 at 3:28 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Tell me if my comment posted. Thanks a lot Teenink. >.> 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 24 2013 at 3:27 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

FIRST COMMENT: YESH! I beat everyone. *victory dance* I love it when authors become personal. And allow the reader into their secret world. When the writing isn't just universal but personal. I don't get too personal with my writing, although I've been told I should. I wish I could. But sometimes, I think, I have yet to open up. There's a lot of emotion, I guess, that I'm not ready to display. I mean I have been personal with some of my work. But not 100% like some writers here. So, to see you open yourself to your readers, Lexus, makes me happy that you are dong that. The poem, in itself, is lovely. Innonce, vulnerability, hope, expectation, freedom of secrets, and so much more—all these emotions just captivate me. The descriptions you use are stunning. And I love how you dedicated or wrote this to yourself. Sometimes, writers have to write things to themselves to reflect on everything that's happened to them. And this poem beautifullly demonstrates that. <3




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