Criticism

July 14, 2013
By Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451


Your writing is choppy,
It lacks a good flow.
Your rhyming is useless;
It's pointless you know.

Your stanzas are long,
And grammatically incorrect.
Your plot is so boring,
I can't stay erect.

You can't count your syllables,
Haikus are a chore.
Your characters are adolescent.
Don't give me anymore!

Though... your story was okay.
I mean, all in all.
Your stanzas were descriptive,
And left me in awe.

Your writing kind of represents,
the vast and stormy seas.
And poems don't necessarily,
have to rhyme with ease.

Adolescent characters,
They're everywhere I look.
And maybe, just maybe,
Yours would make a good book.


The author's comments:
This poem is about criticism (obviously). I'm sorry it's not accurate, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

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This article has 46 comments.


on Aug. 27 2013 at 9:34 am
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you!

on Aug. 27 2013 at 2:36 am
rand0mteenager SILVER, Yonkers, New York
8 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
I like books more than people

I love your poem, it flows greatly and it shows both sides of criticism <3

on Aug. 18 2013 at 3:11 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thanks Plume!

on Aug. 18 2013 at 3:11 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thanks!     

Plume BRONZE said...
on Aug. 18 2013 at 1:31 pm
Plume BRONZE, Milano, Other
2 articles 0 photos 31 comments
FANTASTIC !!!!! the words you chose suited this poem wonderfully!!! well done <3

OldYoungOne said...
on Aug. 16 2013 at 9:52 am
Somehow I feel like this was directed at me lol because I honestly give some heart breaking critiques. But that aside i likw how the poem spins the reasons why someone doesn't like a poem into reason why somone would love it just as much. Not much depth but it works. Good job.

on Aug. 15 2013 at 4:47 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thanks Jade! I appreciate thae five stars. :p

on Aug. 15 2013 at 4:15 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Haha, i like the shift in this poem. Like, realizing the good in everybody's thoughts, even if it isn't how we personally would like them to be written out. I liked this a lot :P 5/5

on Aug. 14 2013 at 10:29 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thanks Tori! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading it.

on Aug. 14 2013 at 10:01 pm
tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
32 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
smile through everything no matter how bad it gets because it could be worse and if it gets worse well then it can only get better. :)

This poem was extremely good! I really love the idea of your poem and how in the first stanza you say that "Your rhyming is useless; It's pointless you know," but then you rhyme :) the poem was just well executed and I loved it! :D

on Aug. 10 2013 at 2:05 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you, twice! ;) I'm very glad you liked it, and I'm also really glad you haven't seen it anywhere else! That would make me a plagerizer (I'm not sure I spelled that right). Well, thanks for commenting!

on Aug. 9 2013 at 6:03 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

I really do like the idea behind this poem. :) It is interesting, and I honestly can't think of any time I have seen it done before. The ending was quite unexpected, but in the best way! I really enjoyed your optimism. :) Often, I want to write myself off as nothing but an amateur, so it was really nice to read something about the positive side of teen writers. ^.^ Great work! I really do like the idea behind this poem. :) It is interesting, and I honestly can't think of any time I have seen it done before. The ending was quite unexpected, but in the best way! I really enjoyed your optimism. :) Often, I want to write myself off as nothing but an amateur, so it was really nice to read something about the positive side of teen writers. ^.^ Great work! 

on Aug. 6 2013 at 8:30 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you Sam! I appreciate that.

on Aug. 6 2013 at 2:36 pm
CatchAFallingStar PLATINUM, Pearland, Texas
24 articles 6 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was." - Unknown

I love this poem because of your word choice and the way you made it flow so nicely. Really well written and I love the metaphor you used, "Your writing kind of represents, the vast stormy seas." I'm giving this five stars :)

on Aug. 5 2013 at 8:31 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

on Aug. 5 2013 at 8:28 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

I love it! 5 stars! Very creative! I like how you change the tone throughout your poem.

on Aug. 5 2013 at 8:17 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you, Hanban! I'm flattered that you liked it!

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Aug. 5 2013 at 7:03 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

This is an amazing poem that flows perfectly and describes criticism perfectly. One may first find all of the negatives of a poem or story before they find the undeniable positives. This poem shows how even the most pointless works of writing can be looked at through deeper eyes and can be found quite beautiful. Thank you so much for writing this; you really have a talent!

on Aug. 3 2013 at 7:47 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you, Amaranthinium! (Wow that's a mouthful!) I'm glad you liked my poem! Thank you for reading it!

on Aug. 3 2013 at 7:39 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Thank you McKay! *bows dramatically* I'm glad you liked it and thought it was creative! I appreciate you taking the time to read it!


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