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Different

I know I'm different.
I know because when I walk,
all presence drifts away.
I know there are a dozen
pairs of eyes staring at me.
I can feel them.

I am emotionally unstable.
I feel the tears roll
at the happiest of moments.
I feel myself smile
at the saddest of moments.
I hear myself scream
at the most calm of moments.
I feel myself relax
at the craziest of moments.

I am going crazy.
Though I cannot physically hear,
I hear the voices in my head
screaming at me.
Though I cannot physically see,
I see the lights in my head
flashing in my eyes.
Though I cannot physically talk,
I can hear myself talking
to the voices, and shouting
at the lights.
Though I cannot physically walk,
I can jump in my dreams.

I am self conscious.
The voices yell at me
and say different things.
Sometimes I am too fat,
and I need to lose weight.
Sometimes I am too skinny,
and I need to gain weight.
I have to starve myself,
and stuff myself.

I know I am different.
I know because no one wants to
touch me or be close.
I am emotionally, mentally,
and physically unstable.
My family is scared of me.
The world hates me.
I am criticized.
I am portrayed as a monster
because I am different.



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