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Dream Spiral

Warmth from beneath the covers
sinks my unconscious mind
into a state of beauty
where imagination prevails time

A flood of distant wonders
now bright with new intent
creates a world of color
to relive the life less spent

fantasy overpowers
reality of sorts
and bends the rules of physics
that reality supports

when our minds decide to sleep
our senses seem to wake
and we invent the truth
that reality is fake

but when the moon grows tired
the sun shines bright again
the dream is overthrown
and the world is ruled by men

but it cannot be restrained
come night it will be back
so don't let life take over
dreams provide what real life lacks



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BeilaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 3:15 am
This is another poem (first read 'Tsunami') where I love your use of rhyme! The "fantasy overpowers" stanza is my favorite, but I love how you create this whole whimsical feeling within the poem that seems to be itself born of dreams. The only thing I'd point out: things usually prevail *over* things. I understand that that would have changed your rhyme, but perhaps some alternatives that would be grammatically correct could include: outruns, overrules, reigns over, conquers?
 
StarGazer9This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 9:00 pm
Thanks so much for the advice! It means a lot to me :)
 
thezebrasgray This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:52 pm
This is interesting and original. I love your word choice as well!
 
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