She keeps everything inside to have reasons to feel guilty, bad, even depressed. A smile everyday on her face is what people see, laughing is what brings people to think she’s happy. Every night she blames herself for a thing that has happened not even to her. She soon starts to cry, feeling worthless and hopeless. Reaches for the dresser drawer to find nothing but dried up tears and scissors. Thinking it’s a bad idea but then reaches for the scissors. Placing the cold metal on top of her thigh, high enough to where no one could find it. She drags the metal across her thigh over and over again to let the pain out. Saying “Your nothing, your worthless!” only to find herself bleeding and not stopping. The pain is too much to bare, she has to stop she needs to stop! Every time she cuts she keeps it a secret away from friends, family, and herself. Acting like everything is fine the next day but wanting to cry every minute. That’s how she deals with things, never talking and never showing the scars she has. Only to find herself feeling depressed all the time and never happy. Suicide was a thought for a long time; till she realized the pain she would cause everybody else around her. All she wanted was to fit in and to be able to not care about what people say about her. The emotions she was feeling were all a secret she kept hidden away from anyone and everyone. Not wanting to talk about emotions was an excuse to cut herself. It got so bad that she was forced to wear long sleeves and pants every day for weeks straight. Not one person questioned no one even noticed.
June 14, 2013