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Is it love?

I’m torn into pieces
I’m conflicted, at an impass
I’m not sure what to do anymore…
When I think about it, I get knots
Knots that multiply and bring me down
Pull me down until I’m doubled over in pain
Is this what love does to a person?
Never thought it was possible
But maybe it’s not love that causes me pain
Maybe it’s the secret that I keep from them….
The secret of my true love and how I feel
I love both of them, but I can’t have both
When I’m with one, I feel completely happy
And I forget about the other one…
But there are times that my mind wanders off and relives the memories with the farthest one even though I am with the one who lives closest..
When that happens I constantly think about the one who has left
At times I can see him and feel him again
It’s like nothing has changed, and we are together again
But that’s not true
Maybe there is an answer to my conflicted feeling….
It’s possible that I am with the second one in hopes to fill a hole in my heart
Deep down I know that I’m going to hurt him
I never want to him, not because of my feelings..
I don’t know what I should do
When I think about it
I can see myself having a life with both of them
Why can’t I understand my feelings more?
This thing that people call
LOVE
Is a rollercoaster feeling..
And I wish that I had control




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