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Light In The Dark

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My glass of iced coffee,
Sits on the counter.
I stir in,
My sugar,
And pour in my cream.
I watch through the clear cup,
As the cream falls down,
Leaving only a thin trail,
Of light in the black coffee.
So much like me.
I stir,
My coffee.
I watch,
The light cream swirl up,
From the deep darkness.
Who will stir my light,
Up,
From deep in my darkness?



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Superhero_FanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 27, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Hey dragons! I liked your creativity with the coffee, and I'll probably never find another poem like this one! I did think it was a bit choppy though. Some lines were hard to read because of it. On the last few lines, I thought you could've combined some of the lines to make it flow better. But, you're a great writer to be able to find a deeper meaning within coffee! Good job, and keep it up.
 
Wings10FeetTall replied...
Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:00 pm
THank you!
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 11, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Coffee. YES!! I like this. A lot. And it's perfect to sit and read in Starbucks. How fitting :D  
 
dragonsandthree replied...
Jun. 11, 2013 at 6:22 pm
Thank you!
 
darkavainvampireThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 11, 2013 at 3:17 pm
I can see this image in my mind, and i can imagone life like this, a simile poem is the best, especially yours that I read.
 
dragonsandthree replied...
Jun. 11, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Thank you!
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 10, 2013 at 10:39 pm
This is really cool. A great writer can provoke emotion and depth from the most mundane things, I give you props for that :)
 
dragonsandthree replied...
Jun. 10, 2013 at 10:42 pm
Thanks, Jade!!
 
LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Hey pal! I like the title, it's really interesting, and after reading the poem I liked the title even more. I really enjoyed your symbol here, literally it's a tasty symbol. I never thought to use coffee as a symbol in writing. Anyways, I really liked the simplicity of using coffee but writing about something that is on a much deeper level. I know how you feel.. the ending was great, super relatable, and I love that you ended with a question. As always, you're great and so is this.
 
dragonsandthree replied...
Jun. 10, 2013 at 5:39 pm
Thanks, Lexus! Believe it or not, I was actually making a glass of ices coffee when I wrote this. But my cup is a clear green.
 
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