The Traveller ~Prequel~

May 27, 2013
By RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner


He was young,
And foolish,
Jumping around with the
Rest of the children.
They picked him out
Soon enough,
They had seen the way that his
Eyes had sparkled,
That intellectual glint
That only few held.
He was doomed from that day.

Barely ten years old,
He was taken from his
Native village
Which held only forty people,
Most of them old and haggard.
They had lived hard lives in
Far away places
So they had many stories to tell
And even more to keep hidden.

They who stole him away
Were called the
Finders,
They found the ones who
Had those special abilities
That they were so in need of.

The Finders wore black
Cloaks in the heat and
The frost,
Permanently shielding their
Faces from the world.
Some said that they were demons,
Clutching knives in their
Black and twisted hands.
Others said that they
Were angels with bows of
Light and heart of good.

No matter what they were,
They took him away to a
Sea village far away.
They traveled for days,
Hardly resting and the
Poor boy was withering away
With both questions
And fatigue.

The Finders watched his
Progress with frowns,
Trying to get into his head.
He was perseverant though
And intelligent,
Using his mind to mask his
Troubles and falling health.

You see,
He was growing sick with
Being around these people,
Their souls were trying to
Find his good and
Rip it from him with gory
Hands,
Smothered in hate and grime.

They reached it
And faced it,
The sea village with
The boy in tow.

The boy fell forward,
Onto the sand
And without a word
The Finders disappeared,
Cast forth into the air
And gone forever.



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This article has 12 comments.


on Feb. 3 2014 at 7:03 am
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you! Yeah, I do need to fix it up a little bit and make it flow more easily. And of course! Feedback is coming your way, my friend!

on Feb. 2 2014 at 3:22 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you're going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

It was a good poem, It felt like a story more than a poem, but I enjoyed it. Its hard to do stories within a poem, and you did a good job. Feedback?

on Jun. 4 2013 at 10:24 am
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you! I've read the first 100 pages of the Odyssey and I quit because I didn't feel like reading anymore. I think that I may read it again along with The Iliad but that'll be a while, people have said that they want me to make it into an epic which would be nice but lot to type! Thank you!

on Jun. 3 2013 at 6:34 pm
shadowkiss96 SILVER, Selkirk, New York
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

This poem reminds me of the odyssey. I dont know if you have read the odyssey before or not. It's a long poem that is basically a story however the odyssey is boring and your poem lures people into reading it more.

on May. 31 2013 at 6:58 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you!

on May. 31 2013 at 5:27 pm
Melissa23 SILVER, Irondale, Alabama
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

This was really good!! I enjoyed it :)

on May. 29 2013 at 5:52 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much!! You Teeninkers are the best people around, you guys are so nice and always leave good comments with either no criticism or good criticism that I can act on! Thank you!

sarah98 BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2013 at 4:47 pm
sarah98 BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 406 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to write for yourself and have no audience than write for your audience and have no self.

i read "the traveler" before this and now it makes a little sense. i love how you told a story

on May. 29 2013 at 4:10 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you Krasota!! Thank you so much! Yeah, I was thinking of making this into a novel but I lack the ability to write novels very well, I quit them before they're even halfway, I just have a terrible habit of doing that. I may do that in the future though, who knows? 

on May. 29 2013 at 4:05 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

I like the idea of this! I feel, however, that this is the beginning of a novel. You have some poetic devices in here that I particularly enjoy ("the poor boy was withering away with both questions and fatigue"), but I still feel like this could almost be developed into a story. Otherwise, excellent job! :D Have a nice day!

on May. 28 2013 at 8:51 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Thank you so much!! It means a lot to get this much approval from my other Teenink members!! LexusMarie, you're like my undying fan, you seriously inspire me to write more!! Thank you, you're so helpful and friendly! I will have more put up though, on his backstory, so expect to be reading some more from me!

on May. 28 2013 at 5:17 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Oh, hello! I am so glad you wrote a back-story! I am so glad to learn about this boy! I am so glad to have read this! You're a wonderful writer! I love this very much, you did a wonderful job with this, I am highly impressed. Your descriptions were right on. The feeling I got from the Finders was very wicked. It was really great the way you conveyed them. Everything is crystal clear and easily visualized. The ending was so sad and sudden.. though I should have expected it to happen, I did not want to believe it! Bravo!


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