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Alone

I don't wanna be alone
Sitting by a broken piano
Watching the rain come down out of my window
Waiting for you to come home

I don't wanna have to stay up all night
Always knowing there is no point
Constantly staring into the night
Hoping I'll see your headlights

I'm probably going to find out again
You left me for my friend
If that's the case, you should just go
Then I'd be happier alone



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LittleLadybird said...
Jun. 3, 2013 at 3:50 am
Aw!! :( really sad, you make us feel really bad for the speaker and that isn't easy to do! Great poem :)
 
CookieMonster24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 3, 2013 at 3:45 am
I have to say, You have done a great job! I want you to keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. <3
 
DreamsOfGold said...
Jun. 1, 2013 at 7:02 pm
This was lovely! Though I was a tad bit disappointed that the only rhyme was in the middle. I see no other structure...but this was good! Truly! Please keep writing. Thank you for writing this.
 
BrittanyLuvEveryone replied...
Jun. 1, 2013 at 7:04 pm
thank u for the advice. i tried rhyming this but it didnt quite work haha. i appreciate your feedback :)
 
Sissybug19 said...
May 30, 2013 at 6:11 pm
oh gosh thats so sad. but very touching. you should check out my poem "paranoia".
 
BrittanyLuvEveryone replied...
May 31, 2013 at 5:44 am
thank you sooo much :)  i'll look at it :)
 
FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 28, 2013 at 2:41 pm
This is so sad, but amazing i like the last stanza the best and the flow and rythem was perfection so keep it up cause this was amazing
 
BrittyBrit replied...
May 28, 2013 at 2:43 pm
Thank you so much :) i appreciate the feedback
 
LiraDaeris said...
May 27, 2013 at 3:23 am
How sad! I feel for the speaker. The main crinkles in this were rhythm blurches and inconsistent rhyme schemes. Iron those out and voila! In all honesty, it was a lovely poem. I like the scene you set up with the piano and waiting for the person. Gives a clear picture of the waiting and self-expression for and towards the beloved.
 
BrittyBrit replied...
May 27, 2013 at 10:43 pm
thank you so much :)
 
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