Fake Smiles | Teen Ink

Fake Smiles

May 24, 2013
By KristenNoel ELITE, Mooresville, North Carolina
KristenNoel ELITE, Mooresville, North Carolina
134 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Why can’t I just be happy? No smiles should be fake.
Tears shouldn’t fall at random. How much more can I take?
I cry myself to sleep. I cannot concentrate.
I’m afraid that my future will be this horrible fate.

I’m scared to step outside. I’m scared to show my face.
The fear that’s built inside of me cannot be replaced.
I feel as if I’m a waste of space. Maybe I should just give in.
I’m breathing way too loud; I’m wasting oxygen.

I feel as if there is no reason, no purpose to be alive.
I feel as if all I ever do is fail, I have no way to strive.
Mental breakdowns repeat themselves; why do I even try?
I break down every day; I cannot count the tears I cry.

It’s just fake smiles upon my face.
To everyone else I am a disgrace.
I must accept the sadness I embrace.
I am merely the coup de grace.

Just fake smiles they say; why am I here?
I wish this depression would disappear.
Maybe one day my smile will be real.
I only wish I could change the way that I feel.

But these fake smiles keep getting in the way.
I thought eventually they would not stay.
But they keep coming back every day.
This sadness I’m in, this setback, I cannot sway.

I cover up my feelings, I hide each tear.
Maybe this would change in the following year.
Maybe I will be happy, although it may take a while...
I am highly determined to erase my horrifying fake smile.


The author's comments:
For everyone who has ever hid their sadness so nobody knows they're hurting...

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