you have seen these broken bits of me | Teen Ink

you have seen these broken bits of me

May 9, 2013
By Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou


you have seen
these broken bits of me

you have seen me at
my weakest point
when I was most
vulnerable and
no one would
try to help me up

you have seen
these broken bits of me

you have witnessed
me uncovered—
naked brown—
lying on the hopeless streets,
hungry and helpless,
damp drops of dew
beading my skin,
while they all averted
their critical eyes,
avoiding the slightest eye-contact
with me
as if I was not
worth noticing—
as if I was naught

you have seen
these broken bits of me

when they would shut
their ears,
you would open yours
to all I’d have to say,
interesting or not—
you listen to all the words
cascading clandestinely
from my broken heart—
words I’d dare not
repeat to them

you have seen
these broken bits of me

when I fell
and broke like a
Swarovski flute,
calla lily-shaped,
spilling red Pinot Noir
everywhere—
crumbling into a
myriad pieces of glass,
scattering all over
the floor,
like jutted stars
across Night’s velvet veil—
you swept my
pieces into a pile
and did what
no else would do:
glue these broken bits
of me together

you have fixed
these broken bits of me


The author's comments:
I want to dedicate this poem to all of you. Especially to me devoted readers. You all know who you are. This poem is for you, for accepting me. For seeing these broken bits of me. Thank you for all the support you've shown me. This is for you. I'd call you all out by name, but you're all too many. But this is for you.

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This article has 39 comments.


Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 14 2013 at 7:18 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

MissExploration, your comment just made my day. To hear someone that doesn't know me but feel my emotion in this piece meant for everyone who has read my work means the universe to me. Thank you! 

on Aug. 8 2013 at 8:11 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

You are an amazing poet! Five stars! I love this poem! It has a great message. Though I do not personally know you, I can hear your emotions and voice flow through this piece.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 1 2013 at 6:03 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thank you, Krasota. You've made my day. I love your theory. I was hurt at first too. But not every work will get an Editors' Choice. Honestly, I'm so honored that this poem means so much to you as it does for me. It's a poem to all of you for being the best readers. I couldn't ask for better people. I may not ever get to meet all of you (I hope I do), but I feel like I know you and you know me...or at least a sliver of each...a sliver I don't share with the people I know here with me...due to their lack of passion and love for poetry like all of you. Thank you so much, Krasota.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:45 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

Wow. I can't believe that I didn't comment on this one, because it's my favourite of your poems. Seriously, I have it on my awesome wall, too, and I reread it probably every day (well, excluding the time that I was at camp and in Georgia, but those two weeks don't exactly count). I can't pick a favourite line, because that second-to-last stanza was my favourite and I feel like picking a line out of that would be almost adulterous to the other lines XDD Anyways, I love the whole poem. There's really nothing else to say; it truly took my breath away. I have no absolute clue why the Teenink editors didn't give you a red check mark for this (my personal theory is that they were so jealous of your writing here that they purposefully withheld the check mark and magazine sticker so that they wouldn't be outdone and blind the readers with this awesomeness). Anyways, keep writing and have a great day! :D

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 2 2013 at 3:29 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I will so much pray for you. And wish you so much luck. Plus, we do love you, Saphira. I felt so bad for assuming you spoke Arabic. When in reality you spoke Urdu. So I felt that I had to make it up to you. Plus, learning a new language is fun. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 2 2013 at 3:27 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thank you. :)

on Jun. 14 2013 at 3:29 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Oh Mckay I so love it when you translate the stuff in Urdu and post it. It makes me feel loved :D By the way here's a fun fact: Google translater messes up sometimes with sentence orientation and  that makes it all the more sincere from your side. And makes me ecstatic.  And Oh, I am so relieved, you have no idea. Result day is August 13. Gosh, do pray for me.

on Jun. 13 2013 at 7:45 pm
uhmjanis BRONZE, Irvine, California
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
the emotion in this poem is unbelievable! you use such powerful imagery... wow great work. keep writing :) 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 13 2013 at 3:29 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I'm so glad you're free from the burden that school can be often. I'm almost free as well. Have to finish some paperwork. And you're the BEST too. And a good friend. I couldn't ask for better friend. میرے ان ٹوٹے ہوئے بٹس دیکھ کے لئے آپ کا شکریہ. تم ایک سچے دوست ہو. ^u^

on Jun. 13 2013 at 2:49 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Oh Mckay, You have no idea that it means the world to me too. I've been good, stressed out by the huge amount of study but otherwise great. It's great to know that you've been well. I'm finally free. The session is over and I already have tons of stuff to do in my hands. Gosh, these daily nothings are so time-consuming truly. And I always love reading your work. Loved it this time too. Read all of it though haven't gotten round to commenting on a few.. You be the best Mckay. I hope I can be an even better friend though. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 3 2013 at 5:21 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

That's great to hear. I hope everything works it with the insomia. And congrats on the novel. It's hard work. But I know it'll all work out.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 3 2013 at 5:18 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Hey, Saphira, how've you been? I've been well. Some days. Not all. But I'm still ok. And yes, I have writtien a lot lately. And thank you for being such a friend really to me. And reading my work, and giving me such kind feedback. It means the world to me. And thank you for being one the people who's seen these broken bits of me. It means literally the world. Thank you. شکریہ

on May. 29 2013 at 6:27 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Thanks, though it is kinda failing, I will work on it some more, but for now I am sticking to short stories and poems. It would be nice to branch out a bit into harder stuff but not right now. Plus I am so busy with finals and soccer and stuff. Do you play any sports?

on May. 29 2013 at 4:59 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

This poem was breath-takingly beautiful!!

on May. 29 2013 at 4:54 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Mckay.... I've been away for so long that I couldn't get to read ALL your amazing stuff earlier... Firstly : This poem is amazing, beautiful,,And secondly: The sadness that you once felt, that seems to be crawling back now (I hope so) ... For that I must say, I'm sad I wasn't there then .. Whatever it was , your poem spoke for you, And all I can say now is that I'm here now.  Thirdly: Hey, man, you've posted tons of stuff since I was last here,,.. Gotta check it all out.. probably would take A LONG time :DD

Mckay ELITE said...
on May. 27 2013 at 7:37 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Yes, I remember it. I'm gald you're expanding it. I commend you for it. It's a lot of work to write a novel. Especially on your own. I wish you luck.

Mckay ELITE said...
on May. 27 2013 at 7:23 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thank you so much. That means the world for you to say that. This poem is about gratitude to the wonderful people who have welcomed me here. And I feel honored that I entice you with my poetry. I have more if you ever want to read more. And you rock just as much. Thank you for being one of the people who has seen these broekn bits of me. 

on May. 24 2013 at 11:29 pm
Cutey-Beauty SILVER, Ulaanbaator, Other
6 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Soli Deo Gloria.

Ok, firstly, McKay, why are you so freaking awesome?! I generally don't really like reading poetry-but yours draws me in again and again like music to my soul. This piece is so beautiful emotionally and at the same time, the imagery is also used very well. I love how this poem is about gratitude and thanks-not something you see regularily. Keep on writing!!! YOU ROCK!

on May. 24 2013 at 6:22 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

SORRY, computer error :P!

on May. 24 2013 at 6:16 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Oh, it's okay if you didn't see it, It realy doesn't matter. :P Trust me, usually I don't bother to reply. I guess it's the same for me. Like, some of my work is just because I thought it up, but a lot of the poems about friendship reflect aspects of my life and my friend troubles. So yeah, I have been well, a little tired later. My parents are going to get me tested for Insomnia because I don't sleep very well :( On the brighter side.......just kidding, it's raining and cold so i am tucked inside staring at a computer screen working on expanding A Tragic Story novel. I don't know if you remember, but that is the one that you inspired that turned into a novel. It's up now, but I am editing it so that it can be better. But I guess overall i have been okay. :) Keep rockin Mckay  


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