People tell me things.
People tell me
Just be happy. Just be okay.
I say “Okay,” quietly echoing
Their harsh words, and
I sink deeper into the quicksand in my mind.
Churning over and over,
Wondering why I can’t
Follow a simple instruction,
Can’t control my own emotions.

People tell me things.
People tell me
Just smile. Just fake it.
“I’ll f-fake it.” I stutter,
Tripping over words
I could dance over
Once upon a time.
Faking is a lie
Because, do you realize how many muscles,
How much energy it takes
To lift the two corners of your lips and
Look up and radiate a pure message of
“World.
Look at me.
Look at my face.
Look at the glow I give off.
I am happy.”
I just don’t have the strength for that.
Not anymore.

People tell me things.
People tell me to just suck it up. Just get over it.
I don’t say anything this time
Because there’s no point.
With all that has been stolen from me?
When it’s cold,
I can see my breath.
It’s the only sign that I’m not dead,
That there’s anything left.
Do I want that breath to go out?
I don’t know.
So for now I’ll keep on breathing
Down this oh so familiar road and
Try not to listen when people tell me things