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Reflections

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I am
Lost in the wind
Somewhere between the notes
That the Smiths
Brought to life one
Lonely night
Listening to my father's
Old albums
and humming quietly along.
I am pieces of you
And of me
And of the earth
The sky
Painted blue
Doesn't do it any justice
I found me
Somewhere within
The dog eared pages
Of Dean Young's "Bender"
the first book
That made me want
To write my mind
On the walls
On the ceiling
To paint it in the air
And be raw
In a beautiful way.
I am
Your savior and
Your broken heart
And I am
Sorry
That I couldn't be
Yours because
I needed to be
Mine.
I am
young
But not
At the same time.
Time is a concept
That humans created,
And what if I don't want
To be defined in two digits
Or five letters
Or one action
That I should regret
But don't
Because it was exactly
What I wanted at that time.
I am lines of poetry
that sang me to sleep
On nights that I
Had nobody to do so.
They watched me fall apart
And never judged
Like you did.
I am daydreams
And nightmares
And stories I could never tell
That sit in me
Like pebbles
They add and add
Until my stomach is
Full to the brim.
I struggle
And cry
And tear it up
Five thousand times
As I try
To replicate
The exact feeling
I felt in that moment
But all that comes back
Is the reflection in puddles
Because the story is not the same
And neither am I.




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