To dress or not to dress- that is the question:
Whether ‘tis happier in the body to be clothed
In tight jeans and blouses, cosmetics and bobby pins,
Or to relax, at home alone, in fuzzy socks and pajamas,
And, by wearing them, be comfortable. To be lazy, to be a shut-in-
No more- and by shut-in to say we end
The pain of pinchy shoes and tight socks
That snugness to which we all aspire- ‘tis a joy
We all hope for. To be lazy, to be a shut-in
To be a shut-in, perchance to chill out. Aye, but there’s a catch,
For in that laziness who knows what we may miss out on,
When we’ve laid on the sofa watching trashy television for four hours,
We must consider the downside. That is the reason
We still manage to get off our butts every Friday night.
After all, who would tolerate the horrors of looking fancy,
The carcinogenic nail paint, the back-pain inducing heels,
The eyebrow plucking, the nicks and cuts of a razor,
The itchy lace blouses and skirts, and the uncomfortable
Tightness of the too-skinny skinny jeans,
When we can just slip on a t-shirt and yoga pants
And eat ice cream out of the tub? Who would suffer
The extra minutes of sleep lost in the morning to look fabulous,
But that the dread of not hearing the big news of the day first,
The gossip that everyone will know before us.
No one is there to share every detail of a night out while we lay in bed
And so we would rather suffer the restrains of tight dresses
Then not know of what our friends are always doing.
Thus the need for companionship makes impeccable dressers of us all,
And thus we manage out
Of our jammies quite easily and often,
And many days resolutely devoted to lounging
With this need to stay updated
Fall through and end in social gathering.